


I See Stars; Tyrus

by and_Peggy_Pagesturners



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Bench Scene (Andi Mack), Bisexual Jonah Beck, Grant High School (Andi Mack), M/M, Platonic T. J. Kippen/Andi Mack, Tyrus Week (Andi Mack)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21730147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/and_Peggy_Pagesturners/pseuds/and_Peggy_Pagesturners
Summary: TJ Kippen is the head of his basketball crew at Grant, yeah sometimes they are the trouble makers but it seems like everything in his life is fine, that is until his "friend" finds some private information and uses it to blackmail, trying to escape this vicious turn he retreats to the library where he meets this decades of 80's movies fanatic Cyrus Goodman. And he is different then every other person in TJ's life, one that doesn't expect him to be tough or straight. He's Cyrus.It's funny how one person can help you see things in such a different way.
Relationships: Buffy Driscoll/Marty, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen, Jonah Beck & Walker Brodsky, Jonah Beck/Andi Mack
Comments: 37
Kudos: 78





	1. Mr Blue Sky

It isn't dark anymore, we left the movie house on the corner of Milton and Dukes, but my visions still feels blinded. I don't really hear anything either, all of the regular chatter around me from the boys is a total blur until Reed leans forward on me and pushes my neck forward, nearly tripping me up.

"Yo Kippen, you haven't spoken yet, what's the matter got your panties all in a bunch over Tom cruise?" He teases with a grin.

"More like you were!" David exclaims from the front as our group continues to walk down Duke, David eyes a bunch of cute girls as they pass by, they giggle and one waves at him. He doesn't avert his gaze from their skirts until they are out of sight.

"Eat my shorts Davie!" Reed runs forward and ruffles his hair.

"Nah, but no duh Charlotte's' bod man." Michael whistles, and the others nod along with him.

"You guys are gross." I say half-hardheartedly to join the conversation. Marty, the new guy who Lester just picked up at a college party to join our squad, slightly nods, but only enough for me to see.

"Man you're just jelly that she would totally pass you." Reed replies and laughs, every detail about him is too huge. His eyes, nose, his voice and his laugh, it's exhausting focusing on him.

"Not because she is old enough to be your mom, cause I'm not hot enough, got it." I say back.

"He's got you there." Marty comments, "Shut up newbie." Lester replies like he owns him. Though in retrospect, after Reed and I Lester does have control of everyone else, kind of like a left hand man, third in command.

We continue to track down until we reach the Spoon, this little diner my sister Amber works at while she saves up for college. My parents are really proud of her, or mom was. Was, dammit TJ, not here.

Reed and a few are kicking cans at cars, receiving shouts and threats as we go, one of the guys in a corvette actual smiles and laughs like, "those youngsters."

I don't know how to really feel about my friends.

Reed stops suddenly, and it's weird because everyone knows I'm the one with the leadership letter man's jacket of 63', when coach won his tournament, he gives it to whoever he thinks is the best player. It's magic I swear because suddenly everyone just did what I said. It's a lot of power for a kid to handle, that's why it's so crucial that the right person has it, like me.

But anyway, Reed stopped us and I walk to the front like I should, even though I like the middle better. Happy medium, never too out never too in, that's what mo-

Shut up brain.

"Wo-oh-ah." Reed says pointing to a group of kids before us pronouncing each syllable. They are actually in our grade, at least I think. I see Buffy Driscoll, one of the best players at our school, for a girl I mean. I know Marty has a thing for her, despite her being one of the only dark kids in the school. And her friend, Ally? Andi? She is really artsy; I think she's dating that Beck guy.

But I've never seen the dark-haired boy before, he has huge brown eyes and delicate skin, his get-up of sweaters and skinny jeans tells me everything about him though.

Although I guess I shouldn't judge people by appearance, I mean, I wear the red and yellow jacket of Grant most of the time, but also my black leather, usually just with a white T and jeans, and only converse, Reed says that girls get to pick out their shoes in the morning, real men shouldn't have too.

My hair is longer than it was when I was in middle school, another "guys" fashion, I don't mind it at my neck, not long enough to be a mullet but still in style. Heavily greased as well, but only after I read that section of The Outsiders, I wanted my hair just to like them.

"I see Kippen has finally decided to join our game of to kill a mockery." Lester leans on my shoulder, I stiffen.

I know what he is talking about; the gang loves to point out flaws from a distance, lousy insults, usually at girls or "gay" guys, and maybe even say it to their faces. Lester thought of the title after hurling the English book at a kid wearing glasses last year. Somehow they haven't been expelled yet, if I wasn't trying to keep a tough rep I would have left them ages ago. But a person like me just can't do that.

"Man, I can't believe they would let someone like her into our school, both of them." David sneers

"Because they are girls?" I swallow.

"No dweeb, cause of their-" He gestures to his face, spinning his hand around, and my heart sinks. This isn't right. The color of their skin shouldn't define their place. I hope one day in the future people will realize that.

"I don't think there are any fuzz around lets getem'." Lester smiles ready to jump like an alleyway cat. I put my hand on his chest, "No." I say coolly.

Lester backs away from me and straightens his black jacket. Reed steps forward and smiles at the others, "yeah Kippen's right, let's just get the ***." He points to the boy with the eyes.

I stare at Reed and we throw knifes at each other within our sharp eyes. I know that he has wanted my position ever since the day I got this jacket, he jumped me later that day and we "play-tackled." I came out it with a black eye and a split lip, Reed says it was something else. I may be stupid at math but I'm not that dumb.

"I said no." I repeat.

The others sigh and turn in the other direction onto Alleyway market, probably to go buy some more cigarettes or for action. "You coming man?" Patrick asks he is already reaching for a cancer stick in his pocket then a lighter and sets the thing to smokes, I shake my head.

"Nah, I gotta motor if I wanna make it home before dad."

He nods and jogs to catch up with the others. I catch the dark-haired boy straying away from the girls and watching my group. He then turns his head to look at me, and it's like this feeling of "do I know you?"

Or maybe it's, "Do I want to know you?"

But that's stupid because yeah he's cute but I don't even know his name. So instead I smile lightly and he grins back.

Then I stare up at the clear blue sky and squint.

✭

My door is always unlocked before Dad gets home. I think that some stranger stealing our stuff is better than him now days. At least the Robber would do something, anything.

"Amber?" I call out into the hallway; I hear her voice muffled upstairs.

My shoes thud on the polished wood and I slide across the second floor when I reach the top.

Amber is in her room, and I have to admit that it is the best room in the house. Not because it is a pale yellow and has cushions and bean bags, a tiny radio and our pet canary, but because mine is always a mess and we don't ever go in dads anymore.

"Take your shoes off I just cleaned out last week's mud." Amber teases, I kick them off and settle onto the carpet next to her. Amber has a thick book sitting on her lap, I look at it closer and realize that it holds inside us, and dad. And Mom.

"I found this in the broom closet, I guess we just stopped filling it in." Amber says softly, flicking the page over to a picture of her and I riding a mechanical bull, next to it is all of us wearing cowboy hats and grinning all black and white.

"What is there to fill in? Dark nights? Dad smashing a wine bottle? Or how about my bad grades?" I say bitterly but seeing Amber's face fall I am quick to say sorry.

Amber sniffs, "It's fine, I just-" Her breath hitches and she doesn't continue but I know what she is saying. We always do.

I reach my hand to wipe away a silent tear, tough guys don't cry.

That only makes me remember all of the scenes in my favorite book again. I need to borrow it again. It has been too long.

Amber turns the brown page again and my breath catches. I thought I lost this photo; it's me when I was maybe fourteen and my arms are wrapped around my old best friend, Caleb. I could never forget him.

It was maybe July when Caleb told me the bad news; we were sitting on my porch with ice pops, that was when my hair was short and I liked dancing and painting. Before Reed told me those were stupid. I also spent a lot of time watching Caleb Clare. He had blue eyes that caught you off and three freckles on his left cheek. He has the curliest hair as well, I wanted to run my fingers through his hair.

But then on that porch he told me that we won't be able to hang out anymore; his parents are getting split and he is going with his mom. Goodbye.

That night I cried. Because for the first time I felt actually heart break, and I didn't realize.

I slip the photo out of the album and turn it over, and there it is; my handwriting. Dear Caleb...

Not now, although that doesn't stop my brain from reciting the whole letter.

I never knew why I didn't like girls like everyone else-

"Hey, I think I'm going to keep this one." I say to Amber abruptly and I stand up before she can see how much feeling I poured onto this one photo.

Suddenly I jump back in surprise at the sound of the door slamming. I guess the man of the house is back. I make sure that Amber hides the album before sprinting across to my room as the sound of bottles being smashed and cigarette smoke fills the room.

I stuff the photo in my back pocket because I have nowhere else to put it, if he finds it..

If he finds it-

And for not the first time I really wish that I had run away.

"TJ! Get your lazy a** down here right this instant young man!"

Well I boy can dream.

I tense up my shoulders and start the walk downstairs, getting one last glimpse of the sunlight before heading into darkness.


	2. The Outsiders

"TJ! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Amber hollers from downstairs, as if my bleeping swatch couldn't tell me the time already.

I groan and reach my arm over my face to block out the blaring sunlight. I hear Amber's feet shuffling up to my room, she kicks the foot of my bed with a loud bang and pulls my blankets away from me. "Come on Thel, you're gonna be late." I can smell the smoke on her tongue. We smoke only when we need to relief stress from any events. I started doing it a lot more ever since the funeral.

"Ugggggrrrrg." I moan, "shoot ambs, I don't give a dime about school at the moment." My back hurts from last night and I need a cigar.

"Yeah well I would imagine how many dimes coach gives when his captain misses his fourth training seesh." She kicks my bed one more time then heads down to either do her hair or get ready for work.

Damn, training! I've already missed so many cause of dad, I can't again. I roll out of bed and into a heap of dirty laundry, I'll remind Amber that we need to get it washed later, for now I have to search for the cleanest one. Yesterday's pair will have to do.

"Come on T I'm leaving and if you want a ride to school you better hurry!"

I run downstairs with my hair un-greased and my shirt in my hands. "I'm comin, I'm comin." I say back and grab a banana and a small carton of milk. My feet shuffle over the floor and I throw on my shoes.

Amber is starting her blue corvette, her hair straightened in some weird girl craze so that it is frizzier than an Afro in a summer rainstorm, and has beads looped all the way through. Her blonde frizz actually works with her waitress uniform.

I don't want to think about Amber dropping out for me to afford school, or dad's lack of presence in the morning. I really don't.

"Damn TJ, somebody is in a hurry for a ball sport." She comments as I slide into the passenger seat.

"Shut up," I reply and we drive down the bumpy road.

✭

"Good Hustle today boys! Kippen I'm glad to see you back in action!" Coach's deep voice compliments everyone as eleven sweaty guys head off to the gym's locker rooms.

"Welcome back Kippen." Reed mimics and shoves me playfully. "Suck up."

I push him back, "man shut up." I grab my towel and hit him on the back, Reed grins teasingly "careful TJ, don't want daddy knowing you're not the role model he boasts too." I reply with hitting him with a towel again. I don't want to think about his comments, not right now.

Everyone else hits the showers as I go to quickly change back into my regular clothes, I don't like to hang around here anymore. Not because of a bunch of guys, I know that I am gay, but because I know I can squeeze in an hour to do whatever I wanted when Reed and Lester are distracted by towel fights and wrestling.

"Yo Kippen, where are you going? Scared to see us naked?" David yells while only wearing his shorts.

"Nah, I've gotta go, Miss South will kill me if I don't hand in my homework, haven't even started yet." I lie, I did my homework an hour after I got it, but they don't need to know that.

I shuffle out of my basketball jersey and shorts and jump into my jeans, I forgot to take my gel, so I guess fluffy hair will have to do, but I put on a baseball cap just to make sure.

"See you guys later!" I yell and run out of the tiled locker room. For a second I thought I heard Reed's voice calling me but it was probably nothing. Once I get out of there and back into the normal halls of grant I slow down to a normal swaggered walk. Tough cool TJ Kippen, yeah.

"Good Morning Mr Kippen." Metcalf greets me, "what are you doing here this early?"

I smile politely, "Finally got around to training again, maybe I'll stop by the library."

He nods, "good to see you back in action. Unfortunately the library won't be open until this afternoon, they found another one of those books, now the school board is debating whether it should be burned." He sighs, clearly frustrated with this.

"Oh Okay, well I'll go in the after school, catch you later sir!" I pat Metcalf on the back and start walking back down the hall. A minute later after saying high or high fiving a few other early morning students I stop in my tracks.

Up ahead is him again; the dark-haired boy, he is wearing a dark blue sweater today and acid washed jeans. He is engaged talking to the Asian girl, (I think her name is Andi) who is wearing a pink sweater dress with a white belt, Jonah beck, best track racer, has his arm wrapped around her.

He must have said something funny because now they are all laughing, and I fine myself smiling.

The couple walk off but he stays to get his remaining books from the gray lockers. I've been staring for way too long because now he catches my eyes, and, I don't know, I'm transfixed on them.

"Hi." He mouths a me and grins.

"Hi." I say automatically back, and my heart flutters a little. Stupid.

I take another step forward to him, wanting to say something for real. But the shrill ringing of first period breaks me out of that trance.

Hundreds of kids start to fill in the school, pushing and yelling and somebody is throwing a football, by the time it goes back to hardly anyone, he is already gone.

✭

"So I found something interesting today." Reed says to me, although there is nobody else in this classroom so it would make sense. I kick my feet up on the desk, "Reed you said we were going to have a team meeting? Where is everyone?" My fingers wobble a pencil up and down. All of my classes have been really boring, I hope this doesn't keep me up to late.

"There isn't going to be a team meeting." Reed turns away and puts a piece of paper on my desk, it is crinkled around the edges and scribbled writing on the back. I picked it up and skim over the words.

Wait.

Dear Caleb..

"So you dropped this out of your pocket, really heart felt, you know." Reed sneers and snatches it back, like a thief taking gold. "So upon inspecting this, I thought maybe, with this being a very sensitive piece I would imagine, that you are in the market to help me."

I manage to grab a crumb of confidence, "Reed, I don't care how you found this, just, give it back and then we can forget this ever happened." I go to stand up but Reed pushes me down.

"I don't think you want to do that Kippen." Reed's eyes glow with menace. "It would be such a shame if coach found out that his star player is a ***. Or what about poor little dad all at home, quite a fist he has there."

I shove him as hard as I can, which is really weak at the moment, "Just shut up!" I yell, and I realize that the taunting won't stop, I really have to do this. "Just... What do you want? Me to talk to a girl for you? Money?" Although I can't give him either of that.

Reed points to the red and yellow Letterman jacket. "I want your spot, to be the top."

I start to walk off, "there is no way."

He tisks, "guess the world will just have to know about this little thing. Just hand over the jacket, or else the letter isn't so private anymore, you dig?"

I'm actually being blackmailed; this is really happening. Maybe I'm having one of those dreams again, I had a bunch of nightmares when I was little, Reed said dreams are just wet fantasies, but I get so little of sleep I don't have to worry about that.

"This is disgusting." I slip the jacket off and ball it up. I toss it to him, as hard as I can. "Now the photo."

Reed whistles and inspects the Letterman, then he grins at me, "you know I think I'll keep this for now. Just to make sure,"

I almost lunge at him, "You little-"

"Careful who you're talking to Tgay." Reed pulls the jacket over himself and walks out, "I'll see you around ***."

✭

This still can't be happening, there is no way this is real.

I've said that to myself for at least twenty minutes, or maybe it's been two seconds. I have no idea, it's a good thing that this happened after school, I don't know what I would do if my life was ruined before my calc test.

My feet are moving, I just noticed that, and after a second I realize that they are moving towards the library. Oh, they want the book.

My dad nearly burned out house down on several occasions, so anything remotely flammable is out. Including my favourite book of all time that mom bought me right after my thirteenth's birthday.

There is something about rebellious teens in the 60s that speaks to me.

Now the only thing I want is to read Ponyboy's story just one more time.

I hid it in the library, well I mean I gave it to the librarian who keeps it on the shelf in the back, kids still borrow it from time to time, but I still get first dibs. That's why I think the librarian, Miss Peach, is the only hip one in the school.

"Good Afternoon TJ." A voice breaks me out of my trance, I have arrived.

"Hey Miss P, I'm just going to go in and get it." I nod in the short women's direction.

"Okay, you're the only other one here, just one other boy, no loud noise." I put my thumbs up as I walk to my section.

Two rows back, third shelf, corner. There it is.

I hold the torn book in my hands, it has had its fair share of tears and owners. Including me, I've taken this thing everywhere.

I'm still slightly in a trance as I reach for it, so I don't notice him until our fingers connect.

He immediately pulls away, "oh, I'm sorry." And I realize it's the cute dark-haired boy with the eyes.

I put my hand down as well, "nah, I didn't see you." And I scratch the back of my neck, my cheeks are heating up from not saying anything, it's stupid to get this flustered over fingers touching, but it's been so long since I haven't had to put up a tough persona.

The boy, or I guess because he's in my year, the guy, clears his throat. "I didn't think anyone else was in here." He taps one of his sneakers with the other.

"Savvy shoes." I say quickly, then I also look down and blush. Now I've done it. Except the dark-hair laughs, "thanks, my friend Andi helped me paint them, they were so dull before. Some people think that it's to girly though."

They are technically yellow and have small circle dots on them, but I think they are awesome. Which is what I say to him next before going back to looking at the copy of the outsiders. I take it in my hands.

"Listen you should have this." I hand it to him but he pulls away.

"I couldn't possibly do that." He pushes, his eyes looking directly at me, and I have to do a double take because his eyes are even more pretty up close.

I step closer and put the book in his hands, "I've read this like a million times, besides, mom always taught me to share." I'm a lot taller than him, and since we're standing so close I do have to look down, but I don't mind and he doesn't pull away.

"I promise to give it back." He says after about a million years of eye contact.

"See that you do." I blurt back, my cheeks on fire. See that you do? What the hell?

Dark-hair goes to pick up his stuff he left in a corner, before he leaves he turns back at me. "Cyrus." He says.

I'm kind of transfixed by him to understand, "huh?"

He smiles, "my name is Cyrus."

"Oh...I'm TJ." I say to Cyrus after a long pause.

"Yeah I know."

He goes to walk out of the aisle, turning back one more time to mouth the word, "bye." Since his hands are full. I give a little wave.

Cyrus.


	3. Lunchbox friends

The next day I walk into pure chaos at school, and I'm not even inside yet.

Maybe it's just because I am looking at Reed, who is wearing the jacket, my jacket. And he has his chest puffed out and is engaged in telling a story, probably of how I was too wimp to carry the team so I gave it to him.

I walk to go up to them, trying to stay invisible in my black leather jacket and jeans. My hair back in its gelled and greased demeanor.

Some kid with curly hair is immediately pushed against me, nearly knocking me back onto the parking lot, he topples over and so do his books.

"Hey, are you oka-" I go to ask, but then I see Lester looking at me with a sickening grin and I know what is happening; the jackets power I don't have it anymore, and that only means one thing. All hail to kill a mockery.

"Thanks." Says the teen after he stands himself back up, I recognize him quickly; Walker, the artistic one, of course Lester wants to pick on him. Isn't our school just so progressive.

"Uh, no problem man." I breathe and watch him walk away in the direction of his friend group.

Then I see him again, Cyrus. Of course it's Cyrus.

They are up ahead, all of them; Andi, Buffy, Beck and him. Cyrus immediately goes to check on Walker, who looks like he is reassuring them that he's fine, although he'll have a skinned knee for a while. Then Andi starts talking to all of them, and I see Beck put both his arms around her neck, covered in charms.

Then Cyrus spots me.

And it's that, "I know you feeling" again that makes my heart swell and beat faster than it ever has, even when I'm playing basketball.

Cyrus gives a little wave and mouths "hi" to me. I feel my cheeks redden as I reply. When did I become so smitten with this boy?

And now he's coming over, to talk to me, probably a totally chillax conversation about the weather, or a savvy comic. But it still makes my heart go haywire.

No sweaters today, just a yellow T, high waist jeans and the sneakers from yesterday. And he looks perfect. Of course he does.

"Hey TJ." Cyrus has both his arms tugging on his back nervously, and I realize for the first time that I might be too intimidating, because not only am I at least three inches taller than him (give or take, I don't know imperial) but also everything about me shouts, "bad guy" from my jacket to hair.

So I try to smooth it back a little bit, back to when it was fluffier yesterday, of course that doesn't work.

Cyrus points at my head, "what happened to the long fluffy hair?"

"Oh, yeah, um my hair is usually like this, although I like the fluffy hair as well, it's just I had time to do it this morning, and I wanted to dress to impress because some stuff is going down and now I have to look even tougher and.." Did I mention that I ramble when I'm nervous?

Cyrus laughs, "Who are you trying to impress?"

You.

"My basketball friends, I uh, had to hand in my captain-ship." I manage to say, Cyrus looks at my lack of Letterman jacket.

"I thought it was weird that you weren't wearing it and Reed was, it's not right. You earned that, and you were it with pride, like a cute puppy all happy of your leadership." Then he realizes what he said. "So-sorry, I shouldn't hav-"

Now it's my turn to laugh, "no, no, you're right, I am a little arrogant." I try to cool my cheeks but failing miserably.

Cyrus hums, "not arrogant, just.. proud." And that makes me smile, "thanks underdog."

"Underdog?" Cyrus tilts his head.

I redden, "Well I mean, you called me a cute puppy and I guess I always saw you as somebody who is an underdog, not that I'm assuming or anything."

Cyrus puts his hands on my shoulder, "Hey I like that nick name, it's really.. savvy."

"Look at me rubbing off on you," I tease his use of slang, he still hasn't taken his hand away, and I think that one of us was going to say something that would have definitely changed things, if I hadn't seen Reed at that very moment.

He looks at me surprised for a second, like he didn't think I would show, then he looks at Cyrus's arms and smiles, my heart stops completely.

"Hey Cyrus, I've gotta motor, but I'll catch you later yeah?" I say abruptly, please don't hate me.

Cyrus looks down, "yeah of course, I'll see you later." He sighs, "Oh wait TJ!"

I turn around and Cyrus's confidence dwindles, "I uh, I wanted to tell you that I'm nearly halfway through the book, you were right of course, it's wonderful."

You're wonderful.

"Uh great! Be careful about the second half, it's a pretty low blow," I manage out,

Cyrus looks up at me, "Well maybe if... you know, it gets really heavy or anything.. I could call you?"

I almost don't believe that he just asked for my number, and I nearly start writing it down immediately. Except I remember Reed, in my jacket, with the photo. I can't hurt Cyrus like that.

I take a deep breath, "Look Cy, I really want too, it's just-"

Cyrus pulls away from me, "no I get it, you don't want to talk to me." He sighs and starts to walk off back to his friends.

"Well yes, I-I mean no! It's really complicated and-" I stutter, watching the boy with the eyes slip through my hands like grains of sand.

Cyrus turns around, "what is so complicated? Just tell me, I'll understand."

Cyrus I wish I could tell you.

"You wouldn't understand this." I try and say in the gentlest tone, "listen underdog, I'll see you later I promise, I'm sorry." Then I walk away, my head turns to see what his facial expressions read, it isn't anguish or anger, more confusion.

He's not the only one with that face.

✭

Lunch is even more chaotic then before school.

I'm going to get my tray of sloppy mystery meat and an apple when Reed stands up on the table. I nearly bump into another student which would have caused immediate food disaster, but luckily that kid is also way too distracted by Reeds outburst to continue to move.

"Ladies and Gentledudes, I'd like to make a little speech." Reed smiles. Everyone in the cafeteria's heads turn, even the girls who just sit there and eat nothing, painting their nails and gossiping, or the JV jocks, (who are different from my team) that are engaged in an intense arm wrestle. They all follow the commands, I told you it has power.

This makes me sick.

"I think it is time for some new leadership don't you?" Reed bows slightly his arms outreached, as if to challenge the crowd, but I know he's looking at me. He was dangling this in front of me.

"Ladies and Gentledudes, everyone welcome your new grant high school Letterman!" Lester bursts out and the half the table starts to pound on it. I actually see some of them hesitate, before also joining in. I don't see Marty anywhere, figures, the one guy I actually liked in our group.

Or past group. There is no way I can show my face now.

The announcement settles down pretty quick and everyone goes back to eating or chatting. But I know the storm isn't over. I start to head out before anything can happen to me, I have to walk right past them, past Reed who I know has my letter and I know has my jacket.

He smiles at me as I go, "where you heading Kippen? There can't possibly be a straight answer."

I have to hold myself back from punching him, I just balance my tray of gross food and keep walking. Don't look back, just keep moving forward. Tough strong TJ Kippen, that's who you've gotta be.

Then I hear it, it's not loud, or arrogant, and nobodies' heads turn, but my blood freezes.

Reed snickers, "hey nice outfit Cyrus." He calls out.

I turn around immediately to see if that really happened. It's real, very real and very not cool.

"Yeah nice outfit girl." Davin joins in.

"I think you met gay." Lester says.

"Actually," Reed gets closer, "I think it's ***."

Cyrus looks down in shame, mumbling something. Reed pulls on his T-shirt, "What did you say to me sk**k?"

That piece of- I set my tray down to kick the crap out of Reed and demand that he leaves Cyrus alone, and probably get my jacket back too.

But I'm too late, because Jonah Beck stands up.

"Leave him alone you hear?" Jonah cracks his knuckles, and I can feel Reed tense up, because he may seem tough, but he has nothing on Jonah's speed.

"You're lucky I'm not in the mood golden boy." Reed huffs and shoves his way past him.

Cyrus turns and looks at Jonah with such admiration, "thank you so much, where would I be without you Jo?"

Jonah laughs, "I'll protect you Cyguy," then he slings his arms around his back and walks him to the next class.

And I know Andi will probably meet them at class and kiss Jonah's cheek and he'll slip his hand into hers. But I can't get the image of Cyrus looking at Jonah out of my mind. I run out of the caf and push the doors open to Grant high school.

I look up and stare at the blue, bright, clear, hopeless, blinding, empty sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh we're getting somewhere!


	4. Blame it on the rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I look back through a list of 80s songs to find the perfect title for this? Yes, yes I did

After school I sprint out into the car park. The rest of the day was hazier than an uncleaned barn, but the second I saw Cyrus I knew what I needed to do. He is up ahead with all of his friends, but a large amount of them start to dwindle off. Beck stays for a second to give Cyrus a fist bump and then he's gone too.

"Cyrus!" I call out at him; he turns his head looking fearful for a moment before realizing it's me and then gives a sad smile.

I jog up to him, "Cyrus wait."

"What do you want TJ?" Cyrus asks with little courage; I match my pace to his pace as we exit the lot.

"Look Cy I'm sorry." I start, I want to reach out and touch him. "Things just got really out of hand and I didn't want to get you into all of it, and none of this would have happened if I hadn't been so careless! The one time I'm actually vulnerable and they go straight for the kill. I'm really sorry Cyrus."

Cyrus stops walking, "no I'm sorry Teej, I should have just stayed out of your way, I have a habit of getting attached to people and their lives way too soon. We're not even friends."

I look down, "we're not?"

Cyrus looks at me in disbelief, "so you want to be my friend?"

No. But it's as close as I'm ever going to get to what I want to be. Pining from a safe distance.

"Yeah," I breathe, "I really do."

Cyrus grins at me, "so I can call the scary basketball guy my friend?"

I smile back for a second before looking downcast, "Well I'm not really a basketball guy anymore."

Cyrus nudges my shoulder, and it makes my heart flutter just the tiniest amount, "want to tell me about it? I can get very attached to people's lives and my house isn't for a few miles."

So I do tell him about the photo (but not what it said) and how Reed's using it for blackmail and how now I can't even show my face at school anymore without being called a sissy.

"...And now he's going to torment everyone." I finish, Cyrus has stayed silent this whole time, and I gotta say that it's nice just having somebody to listen to you without interrupting or making it about them. I could never tell anyone about this stuff, not even Amber.

"I just don't know what to do Underdog, that photo was all that I had of being soft and not this tough guy I have to pretend to be to survive." I feel my eyes get slightly watery, which is weird because I don't think I've cried like this in ages, just by telling somebody my problems. Not even the therapist that I had to go to after mom.

"TJ," Cyrus says suddenly and he grabs my arm, "that's horrible, I know how important that must have been to you."

I sniff and wipe my eyes on my jacket, "yeah, it is. Thanks Cyrus, for being here and talking to me, I uh, I really needed it."

"Just another service we provide." Cyrus gives me a bright smile.

"So why are you walking all this way to your house? Don't your friends give you a ride?" I ask him it's getting darker even though it can't be past four, I look up to see the sun being covered by a large cloud.

Cyrus blushes and looks down sheepishly, "there is this one place that I stop by, but if I show you you can't tell anyone!" He points a finger at me.

"Okay, okay I promise." I laugh, my pinkie finger interlocks with his, Cyrus is hesitant for a second before nodding. I am worthy of being trustful.

Cyrus takes my hand and my stomach twists along with my heart, he smiles at me and drags my arm across an open garden. Few people wearing slacks or long bright skirts are walking peacefully, nobody notices us, which is a good thing because my face is way to flushed to be cool TJ Kippen right now.

We slow down as we approach a kids park.

"What is held here Underdog?" I say as Cyrus takes his hand away from mine, I feel the coldness from lacking the others warmth.

"See I knew you were going to mock me for this!" Cyrus huffs and heads back in the other direction, "this was stupid anyway." He mumbles.

I catch his chest and stop him in his tracks, "woah-woah Cy. This isn't stupid, trust me. Now please show me what it is, I swear I won't mock you. You dig?"

Cyrus looks at me in the eyes and I notice how pleading they are, like this is the first time somebody has ever really talked to him like this. Then I notice how close his face is to mine, it can't be more than a few inches.

"Okay," Cyrus whispers and I swallow, "okay." He repeats and then smiles at me, when he turns his head and starts walking I can finally breathe again. My heart is racing out of my chest and my face is so hot I could set cigarettes alight.

And all my mind can say is Cyrus, Cyrus Cyrus. Want, want. Want.

"Are you coming?"

I put my hand to my chest, "yeah,"

We take about ten more steps before stopping at the playground, Cyrus rushes to the swings and hops onto one of them, I follow his pursuit.

Cyrus starts to swing, but just lightly, his face is looking intently up at the darkening sky. "This isn't the best day to show you the swings." He says suddenly, sounding disappointed.

I push my body backwards so my legs are completely straight before releasing and lurching forward. I turn to look at him. "Why wouldn't this be a good day Underdog?"

Cyrus, while still gripping the swing handles so tightly his knuckles turn white, uses one of his fingers and points at the sky. "The clouds." He notes, and I see the bright canvas above us is now covered with graying clouds.

"I don't mind if it rains a little." I shrug but Cyrus shakes his head.

"That's not the point, this place is always the best location to stare up at the stars." He sighs, "I use to look up and stare at them for hours, so long sometimes my parents would get worried and go looking for me, one time they called the police." He smiles at the fond memory, "but I would always be here."

He is so heart-stoppingly gorgeous.

"Hey Cy, I'm really glad you showed me this." I say finally after about a million years of staring at his face, I could get use to staring at Cyrus Goodman's face in the least creepy way possible. Pining from a distance.

Cyrus beams at me, "so am I TJ."

I swear to god TJ he's right there, just tell him.

Then I feel it, the first drop of rain. It's cold and many others start to follow after it.

"Crap!" I exclaim and start to make a run for it, "Come on Cy, you're gonna get socked!"

Cyrus sprints after me and we keep running until we find shelter underneath a park picnic section roof.

Cyrus huffs and takes a few deep breathes, "sorry, I didn't know that was going to happen." He apologizes and then starts to laugh. I crack a grin at him, "you're crazy Underdog." Then I notice he is shivering.

I take off my slightly wet jacket, but because of the tough leather it isn't all the way through. I hand it to Cyrus, "here take it, I can go without a jacket, I should be getting used to it anyway." I joke bitterly, "and I also have like a billion others."

Cyrus pushes it back, "I can't take it Teej, I don't want you to get sick."

"I don't want you to get sick." I reply, taking the jacket and I reach out to wrap it around him. Cyrus's breath hitches and I watch his eyes study my hand movement. Right there. He's. Right. There.

Cyrus stops shivering. "Thank you TJ."

"Anytime Underdog."

Cyrus tugs on the jacket, "I promise I'll return it. Thank you again." The he starts to bop and gets ready to make a run for it. Before he goes Cyrus turns back, "I'll see you tomorrow TJ?"

I smile at him, "100% Underdog, I can't wait."

Then I watch as Cyrus runs out into the pouring rain, my heart pounding along to the rhythm.


	5. New Sheriff in Town

I'm sitting on one of the beanbags with my math homework balancing on my right knee, my textbooks and highlighters spread out before me in the library when Cyrus looks up at me.

"Hey TJ?" He asks, I tuck my pencil behind my ear and turn to face Cy in the blue beanbag next to mine, his fingers are holding open the outsiders crinkled pages.

"Yeah?"

"What would happen if we were in the 60s?" He gestures to the book. I ponder this for a second and then push my work out of the way, my head leaning back into the cushions.

"Well I would definitely be a greaser, probably part of a lot as well, it should be just of friends though, no real leader, I've seen how that goes. I would go to the movies and drive my souped up car, try and make good grades but probably fail because I can't focus in class." I say finally, this makes Cyrus smile.

"And what about me?" He asks and I grin playfully at him.

"You, Mr Goodman, would be at the top of the socs, classy, nice car, go with your friends to do whatever you wanted, within curfew of course." We both laugh at this, but then I keep going, because I have thought of this, a million times. But now I have some-one to share with.

"And one day your group would see this tall greaser by himself just getting out from the movies. His friends haven't been the nicest, so you, being the most friendly person ever that everyone can't help but like goes up to the boy and says hi. And soon you guys are talking like you have been friends forever, and maybe, once or twice a week he'll sit and have lunch with you guys, and you'll be best friends."

And one day the taller boy will lean down to kiss him under a starry night sky and they know they can do anything together....

"This greaser sounds like an amazing person," Cyrus comments.

"He can be tough but once you get to know him he's alright." I shrug still smiling.

"Well then why doesn't the greaser ever hang out with the socs friends?" Cyrus says suddenly and puts the book down, he goes to stand up and outreaches his hand to me.

I push it away, "I really don't think that's a good idea Cy..." My thoughts go to Reed, Reed in my jacket, Reed teasing Cyrus. Everyone seeing me and Cyrus hanging out and they know very quickly that I have another vulnerability point. And they will go for the kill.

"Come on TJ, why not?" Cyrus pleads. Well you see there is a thing that Reed happens to know that he could very much use against me and if he thinks that I like you, well then it's chaos for the both of us.

"I just really don't think that Reed will be very kind to us that's all, with him being captain and all." I say with as much assurance as I can.

Cyrus pouts, "I swear I'll just introduce you to my group of friends, and then the bell will ring and then we can go back to class. No Reed." He stretches out his hand again, "please TJ?" His eyes turn to big soft doe eyes.

God dammit the eyes.

I sigh, "fine, but this has nothing to do with the puppy eyes." I take his hand and he pulls me up. (Or really I pulled myself up, Cyrus looked like he could use some help) But I don't let go of his hand, I can't for some reason, not matter how hard I want to.

As we walk out of the library Cyrus looks to me innocently, "what puppy eyes?"

I nudge him, "you have too much power over me Goodman."

"And that's a bad thing?" We both laugh, and I think, maybe Reed left to go to a dinner for lunch, or maybe he's hooking up with some poor girl in the science classroom.

I was wrong.

Because just as we are about to enter the cafeteria and Cyrus goes to wave his hands at his group of friends that are engaged in a conversation, I hear the familiar squeak of basketball sneakers.

"Oh well well, if it isn't TJ Kippen." Reed sneers, "where have you been all this time?" Then he goes and looks at mine and Cyrus's entwined fingers. "Oh, so you've been off making out with your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend. Typical of you to go for the small ones, they are quite easy to break."

"Shut up Reed." I snarl, Cyrus looks at me confused, "TJ what is he talking about?"

Reed's grin gets even wider, "so he hasn't told you yet?"

"Told me what?" Cyrus's eyes grow small.

I go to open my mouth but Reed beats me to it, "oh, that big, strong tough TJ Kippen is a ***. I would have thought you would figure that out by now, considering he's only talking to you because he is desperate for some loving "attention.""

"Cyrus that's not true, well I mean I am gay but the part about using you and stuff isn't I swear I would never do this and this is what I was talking about when I said he was using me, this is my vulnerability Cy, that I'm a freak and I get that you'll hate me-" I start to stammer.

"Shut up Tgay!" Reed exclaims, then he makes a pitying face, "it's a shame that everyone will know what you truly are by tomorrow, such a tragedy that you couldn't keep it in your pants." Then he walks off while whistling.

Neither of us says a word for what feels like forever. Then I realize that my eyes are watering, and I'm going to cry.

My fist pounds the locker next to me shouting dammit, dammit, at every pound.

Once my fist is relatively red I turn to look at Cyrus, who's eyes are scanning for any sign that this is a dream or something different. But it's real, very much real.

Then I realize he is crying as well, silent tears stream down his face. I want to go out and wipe them away from his face and hold his head in my hands, but I can't. All I can do is try and make things better. The Tough TJ Kippen way.

"Cyrus?" I say to him gently, Cy doesn't say anything back so I keep silent. Suddenly an idea comes into my head. "Hey you wanna come over to my place, I don't think either of us can handle a second more at this school."

Cyrus still doesn't say anything, but he falls forward and collapses in my arms. I don't try to pull him closer than I should, but I'm pretty sure if I wasn't so messed up right now my heart would have exploded.

"I'd like that just fine." Cyrus finally mumbles.

"Good, then lets go Underdog," And we walk out of the school building, my arms hanging on the only thing good in my life. The clouds covering the sunlight, giving us dark shelter.


	6. Fire starts with Sparks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They do watch Beetlejuice in this chapter, it is not especially scary but the mentions of death and the figure himself is what scares Cyrus in this instance (and also because thats as far as I can go with Halloween movies from the 80s) forgive me if this seems unrealistic I needed a filler.

I walk the sniffling Cyrus outside the school and down a few blocks back to my place, trying to remain as strong as possible. Is this what it feels like to have somebody so close to you that even the slightest feeling of danger causes an avalanche of pain and emotion?

After a little while of silence Cyrus finally says something, "so its true?" He asks.

I already know what he's talking about, "Yeah, it-it's true. I am, gay." I haven't said those words to many times in my life, not even to my family yet, but it feels right saying it to Cyrus.

"Oh." Is all he replies with, but I swear to you I saw him smile for a fraction of a second before looking at the ground again. "I guess its nice not having to worry if somebody hates you or not for your sexuality."

I still have my arms wrapped around his shoulders, so I squeeze them tighter, "yeah, yeah it is underdog."

✭

"Wow your house is so..." Cyrus trails off when I turn the handle of the door and step into my home.

I turn around and face him, "Messy? Cluttered? Dirty?"

Cyrus smiles playfully, "no, I was going to say homely and warm."

"That's just the nicer way to say messy!" I exclaim, Cyrus laughs and its nice hearing it again, but I can't get attached, if I get attached then Reed will just have more weapons against me. I take my jacket off (see I told you I have thousands of these things) and walk Cyrus into the living room.

Magazines and papers are strewn all over nearly every surface, cups of day old drinks and cards are on top of the dusty coffee table and stacks of VHS's remain over the TV mantel. I try to clean some of the stuff off the couch, my fingers forcing off a paperbacks onto the floor.

Cyrus picks one up, "lord of the flies?" He reads the title, "you really do like reading don't you Teej?"

My face reddens, people calling out a guy for reading doesn't make you feel to hot you know?

"No those ones are Amber's I think." I lie.

"No they're not."

I sigh, "no, they're not." I grab the book out of his hands, "but you can't tell anyone about this! Can you imagine Reed knowing about my girly habits on top of the blackmail?"

Cyrus's smile fades, "why are you so afraid of what he does? I mean I get teased and bullied for being gay all the time but I don't let it control me. TJ, sometimes you have to embrace your faults and own them, or else they are seen as something that can be used against you. So what if one jerky guy with no brain cells has your jacket? You can now see how stupid it was in the first place."

I don't know what to say to that, I look Cyrus directly in the eye and see the bravery in his words right there in front of me. And I ask myself why can't I be Cyrus Goodman, because if I was Cyrus, maybe life wouldn't suck so much.

Maybe I don't want to be him...

I clear my throat and break out of my trance, my face flushing. "So do you uh, wanna watch a movie? We got plenty of VHS's."

Cyrus looks at me again and I feel my pulse racing, "yeah, I'd like that a lot T." And all I can think about is I don't want to be Cyrus, I want to be with Cyrus, and the wanting only grows stronger as we start to sift through boxes.

"Oh hey what about this one?" I gesture to the Karate kid. Cyrus shakes his head, "we have to find the perfect one." He says with such motivation that I can't help but giggle a little.

"The Goonies?"

"No, to adventure-y and not the right season for it."

"E.T?"

"Something less Alien-like, besides I've watched it like a thousand times."

"Indiana Jones? Come on that's a good one!"

"They're all good ones! Just not the one."

"For somebody who has supposedly watched a bunch of movies your really picky... How about the shinning?"

Cyrus whips his head around to look at me, "you're kidding right?"

"Nah, maybe to calm ourselves down lets watch this horrific bad boy.." I keep talking, watching Cyrus's eyes grow more fearful. "Relax Underdog, I'm joking." I laugh finally and put the case down.

"Thank god." Cyrus sighs, he puts his hands on his chest and by doing so tumbles backwards and knocks over a box. One of the VHS's spills out and Cyrus picks it up. His eyes glow.

"Beetlejuice!" He exclaims.

"What?" I say in confusion.

Cyrus passes me the case for Beetlejuice the movie, "it's perfect, not super sappy, not super scary, but funny as well! At least that's what my parents tell me, I haven't watched it before..."

I totally forgot we had this to be honest, but seeing Cyrus's face light up makes me thank whoever bought this case. "Okay, Beetlejuice it is!" I smile and Cyrus grins.

He settles into the couch while I put the tape in, then I sit back down as well. My body a thousand miles away from Cyrus's, but my mind longer to be no less than half and inch away.

As the movie starts with the opening credits, we see a spider crawl right over Adams recreation of the town. I see Cyrus flinch out the corner of my eye. My instincts take control of me and I scoot just a little bit more towards him.

As the movie progresses Cyrus becomes more and more tense, until the part where Beetlejuice is summoned that he actually yelps.

"This is scarier than I thought." He shudders, at this point I am approximately two feet from him and I reach out to touch his hand, it retracts almost immediately, but Cyrus grabs onto it and squeezes it.

"Sorry," he looks down his cheeks pink with either embarrassment or shame I don't know, "I'm too much of a baby to watch this."

I move forward, my heart pattering softly for Cyrus, "you're not a baby, you would have had no idea either," I swallow, "Do you want me to stay here until it ends?"

Cyrus shuffles forward into my arms, "yes please." I feel my ears redden as Cyrus smiles. Don't freak out that Cyrus is basically cuddling with you, don't let your mind go there, don't think about how amazing it would be to kiss him right now.

I start to make small commentary about the movie, to help me not lose my mind over this boy and it helps Cyrus chillax when I'm telling him it's not real, and pretty soon we're both laughing at most of the jokes they make.

When the credits roll Cy lifts his head up and looks at me, "thanks for letting me come over, and for watching the movie. And for just being there, I really appreciate it TJ, you have no idea how happy this makes me." His pink cheeks haven't gone down yet and that with his soft brown eyes makes me do a full double take.

He so pretty, he's so wonderful, he's so perfect. I don't want to be Cyrus Goodman, I want to be with him, I want to be with him and I want to kiss him.

Don't think about how close you are, don't think about if you could you would lean in and kiss him right now, don't think about how he's staring at you like he wants to too.

And suddenly I'm being careless, and stupid because I look down at Cyrus's lips and he watches me do so. This is crazy, there is no way this is happening. Cyrus can't like me, Cyrus would never date me, even if we would (that's a big if) he would never want to go out in public, I'm what my dad says; a disgrace.

But he's right there.

But the world is right out there as well, the cold, unforgiving world.

"Sorry I got distracted for a second," Cyrus finally says, he clears his throat, "I was going to uh, give you your book back."

My heart is slowly sinking in my chest, down, down, down, "Yeah, I hope you thought it was real ace." I don't know how I said that without breaking down and crying, or throwing up.

Cyrus stands up to get it and looks at me with foggy eyes. When he goes to get it from his bag I smack my head with my hands.

Stupid.

Worthless.

Piece of Crap.

I told you, I told you Cyrus would never data a moron like you.

"Here." Cyrus presses the paperback in my hands, I take it and wrap my fingers around the outsiders like its a bible. "I really did enjoy it TJ."

"Savvy," I say in return, but it came out much colder than I expected, "I'm sorry that was really mean." I duck my head down and start to work up the courage to walk out and leave behind everything I could truly love.

Cyrus doesn't say anything about it in return, instead: "you know what Beetlejuice was really missing?"

"What?" I catch his ever-changing expression-al eyes, and they are somewhat terrified and somewhat playful, but it can't mean..

"A cliche where they all kiss in the end." Cyrus smiles, his eyes, I swear to god they mean what I think they mean.

"Screw it," I say with my pulse rushing,

"Wha-" Is all Cyrus can say before I grab the hem of his shirt and connect my lips with his.

I can feel the electricity spark right between us with just me kissing him with my own desire, but when I feel Cyrus kiss me back we have enough fire to bring the house down. To set the world in flames. I kiss back with even more passion, feeling the sensation of joy and like.

Cyrus moves his body closer to mine and we sit parallel, he straddles his legs onto my lap and wraps his arms around my neck, deepening the embrace.

My hands get tangled in his hair and around his neck, we don't resurface for what feels like years, we don't need too, our fire is more than oxygen could ever be. Cyrus's hands cup my face and I let them carry me as I kiss his temple and nose, my head turns slightly and his tips back as I come back to his lips and melt into another kiss.

"TJ," Cyrus mumbles between kisses and every time he says my name it sends shivers down my spine.

My heart thuds in my chest, but I never want this to end, I want it to be like this forever, I need it to be like this forever. I kiss Cyrus harder and his lips follow along quickly.

My lips begin to trail down his neck when I hear the oh so familiar sound of my Father's car in our driveway.

"Crap," I mutter and pull away from Cyrus embrace, but my fingers grip his hand tightly. I'm never letting this go, I'm not like the other guys who have a fling one day then completely ditch the girl the next. Cyrus. Cyrus is different.

"I guess that's my cue to leave," Cyrus shrugs.

I swallow, feeling my heart begin to go back to a normal pace I stand up with him, "sorry Underdog, Cyrus, sorry Cyrus, I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nods and readjusts his crinkled T-shirt, "yeah, tomorrow," Then he turns to leave. Tomorrow feels like a million miles away, I can't wait that long, my heart longs for him already.

Cyrus turns around and hesitates before kissing my cheek, making my stomach flutter. "I'll see you tomorrow TJ."

"Y-yep." I stutter, feeling where his soft lips were.

A few seconds later both Dad and Amber walk into the living room. My father walks right past me, not even motioning to the mess of VHS's on the ground, but I know he'll make me clean them up.

I rush off to my bedroom to avoid Amber seeing my swollen lips and messy hair, but as usual she follows me right up and closes the door. "Tell me about her." She presses, looking at me directly.

"Maybe later, but first do you think I can put stickers on my roof?" I try to change the subject of Cyrus and my sexuality and the stereotype of "her". I fall flat onto my bed and look up at the empty popcorn ceiling.

Amber sighs, "fine, what were you thinking?"

I shrug, "I don't know... Maybe stars."


	7. Fight for Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back at this story it does need some work, and because this is my first Tyrus story on this sight I aim to improve vastly as these go along. I'm not asking you to be patient or anything with me, I'm just putting this out there. 
> 
> Hey, Mr no-name kid, so who might you be? And could you fight for me? And hey, could you face the crowd? Could you be seen with me and still act proud? - Heather's the Musical ("Fight for me")

When Amber clambers upstairs to force me out of bed the next day she finds what might possibly be the biggest surprise of all time.

"You're out of bed." She says surprised. I catch her eyes in my reflection of the tall mirror of my bedroom. "Yep, no more early morning shouting."

"But that's impossible." She walks over to me and pinches my arm to make sure I'm real. I laugh and brush her hand away, but she's already caught on. "Wait a minuet, brushed and neatly gelled hair, nice shirt, that jacket that shows off your muscles-" She sniffs my clothes, "and cologne... You have a girlfriend!"

I push her aside, my brain goes foggy. Girlfriend. 

"I don't have a girlfriend Amber." I say coolly, but she's too invested now.

"A hook up? Ooh are you trying to impress someone, like that cheerleader girl? Kira?"

I try to put my shoes on as fast as possible to get away from this conversation, this wasn't suppose to happen. "Enough Amber." I snap and tie the final knot of my sneakers.

"Awe is wittle TJ smitten in wove?" Amber says in a baby voice, "Which lucky girl has your heart TJ? I bet you were gonna get a tattoo of her face as well, oh that will look so savvy."

I pound my fist at the wall, "Dammit Amber, why can't you just leave me al-alone?" My voice cracks, that's not a good sign. None of this was going to happen, I didn't even need a ride from her this morning, I was going to walk, and then maybe stop by Cyrus's house, maybe walk with him. Maybe brush my hand against his. Maybe...

Amber huffs, "Take a chill pill T, you don't have to get so worked up over it, I'm totally just like dying to know who this girl is. You know my friend Iris was talking to Libby at the team's last practice and she heard that Kimmy told her that Kira liked you because of how hot you-"

"Stop it!" I shout at her. My cheeks flush for a second, because if Dad heard me, if dad heard any of this. But he's not home, he's not home. I don't know if that reassures me or makes me even more angry.

"It's not Kira Amber, it will never be her or some of your other friends." My eyes began to prickle as the floor beneath me starts to blur from hot tears. This was never suppose to happen.

I don't meet Amber's eyes, but she replies two seconds later. "What are you gay or something?"

Tears start to roll down my cheeks faster, but I still don't look up. My breathing becomes very shallow as the seconds between her sentence and my answer become longer. This was not how it should have gone. There was never even going to be this conversation.   
I'm suddenly frustrated and very tired. Like going to school would be like climbing a mountain. But the anger is still in me. Threatening to boil and spill over my body, everything that I never told her. Which is the only reason that I must spit out:   
"Yes Amber. I'm freaking gay okay? I'm a ***. Are you happy?"

We're both silent for a second. I shut my eyes and imagine a different world or universe, where this never happened, where all of my previous maybe's came true. Suddenly Amber wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. "TJ.... I had no idea, I'm sorry for teasing you, I just, this is the only thing that I can really talk to you about, not dad. I miss our banters Thel, I just miss the real you. Now I realize why you became so distant. I'm sorry TJ. Look at me."   
I look at her in the eyes, tears still cloud my vision, but I can see Amber's intentions clearly. She probably doesn't understand, or maybe she does and just never could express it. Either way, she wants to try.   
"Hey, I'm sorry if anyone was giving you hell for this. And I'm sorry if you could never talk to me about this. Hey, look. TJ, people can be real jerks and pull you down for who you are. But you can never let them win, okay? Because you are not wrong, you are not dirty or disgusting. And you're especially not like them. You're better. I'm sorry, so sorry." Amber rambles on and its hard to keep my eyes clear. 

"it aint your fault. I should have told you sooner. I was just scared, so frikin' scared Ambs." I say, hugging her again. 

"I get it." She mumbles from my chest. When we pull apart Amber's mascara is all a mess, but I don't think its just because of the hug. "If you don't mind me asking, who's the lucky boy?"

I smile at her and we walk hand in hand downstairs and out the door.

✭

Out the front of the school is pure chaos. Again. After Amber drops me off (we took the car after all) I race into the front of the school to see Cyrus again. The whole coming out thing took a lot longer than I expected.

To tell the truth I needed to see Cyrus, 1) because I really like him and who wouldn't want to see the one they liked before school? 2) because if you take one good look at me or my "friends" you can pretty much tell we are the type of people that hook up with one person one night and leave them abandoned and broken hearted the next. Cyrus isn't like that, I know, but I'm not going to let my reputation destroy whatever we have. I want to ask him out for real, and maybe not be super public about it, but at least know at the end of the day that we could be boyfriends.

Boyfriends. That word makes my heart swell.

Which is why the crowd of people forming a circle out the front of the school stopped me right in my tracks. These types of crowds only form when one thing is happening; fights, or more specifically; rumbles.

And I think I know who is in it.

Sure enough I see both Reed, backed up by Lester and David, in an fist to fist skin battle with Jonah beck. The crowd around me gets frantic and starts yelling "fight! Fight! Fight!"  
This can't be over something petty. My guess should be pretty clear.

Reed swings his fist at beck, who dives to avoid the punch and uses his leg to trip Lester up. Honestly its not a bad fight. But I never enjoy these things, boys fighting is so pathetic. Of course a little skin never hurt anyone, but I know Reed, and this will not be fair.

I have to find Cyrus.  
I push my way through people as Reed shouts, "Give it up beck, you're about to get your butt kicked, so you may as well forfeit now, maybe we'll go easy on you."

My back is turned and the chanting is growing louder, too loud to here what happens next. I push past another girl in a cheer-leading outfit and spot Andi and Buffy, Jonah's friends on the side. Andi is crying into Buffy's shoulder, and the darker girl looks about ready to join the fight herself. But there is no Cyrus.

I doubt he would have left the area entirely though. So I race around the schools outer building until I spot his dark mass of hair, huddled into his sweater and knees pressed against his chest.

"Cyrus?" I check, he looks up immediately, and time freezes, and not in a good way.  
There's a cut on Cyrus's cheek. It can't be bigger than my ring finger, and as long as well. But there is a cut on Cyrus's cheek, and it's bleeding. Red is steamed down the side of his face, I feel my whole body fill with rage.

"He did this to you didn't he?" I say and kneel down, cupping his cheek in my hand, Cyrus softens at the touch but winces slightly. "Oh my god Cyrus I'm so sorry, I'm gonna make this right." Then I kiss him on the lips briefly, just a small peck, but it sets my heart in motion. "I'll be right back."

I hear Cyrus call my name weakly after me but I can't stop now.

I march right back into the crowd and nudge Buffy's shoulder, "look I don't know if you know this already, but Cyrus is that way and he could really use some support right now, I would go but I kind of need to stop something here." I say to her and Buffy nods her head in return, "thank you." She says quickly and then heads in the direction of Cyrus, Andi at her heels.

I continue until I am front and center with the jerk-wad himself, who has his fingers curled around Becks bruised face. "Reed stop this, you know this isn't right."

Reed stops from attacking Jonah for a second, who looks at me with fearful but also "who are you?" eyes. "Oh look TJ is back everyone, here to save the day, how mighty of you." He sneers and drops Jonah onto the ground. Reed goes to lunge at me, my arms grab his fists and swing him around to dodge.  
I hear the roar of the crowd and the shuffle of Reed's feet and all I keep thinking is, this is wrong. This is all so wrong.

I shove Reed back into a pile of his friends, who pick him up and force him back into the fight. Reed runs up and I think he's just going to swing at me again, but then I see him pull out a blade. A short hand six inch.

I see three things before Reed dives at me; His hungry eyes, the jacket that seems to be fueling him and lastly, Jonah.

Wait-

Beck jumps in front of me as Reed takes the blade and stabs it right through Jonah's back thigh.  
I know I'll never be able to scrub the sound from my brain. 

And the next few minuets (or maybe hours its hard to tell) are a blur. I keep hearing Jonah's scream of pain as the police arrive with an ambulance and take him away, over and over again. I see Cyrus being escorted by the police for questioning before me. I see Andi being taken nearly everywhere, here eyes red rimmed and flowing with tears.

Throughout all of this I try to keep an eye on Cyrus, but the police take aside for questioning and I lose him in the thick of all of it.

Cyrus then goes with Andi to the hospital to check on him, I try to pull him aside there, or at least hold him and tell him everything is going to be alright. But When Cyrus and Andi get into the fuzz car Buffy pulls me aside.

"I think its about time we talk, don't you?" Then she takes me inside the building, but I don't tear my eyes away from Cyrus's until he is out of my sight.


	8. Star struck

I flop back down on my bed the moment I get home, my head spinning and causing an awful headache. All I want to do is smoke a pack of camels or stuff chocolate cake down my throat until I pass out, but I know my stomach wouldn't be able to hold any of that down.  
Amber's working a late shift, so there's no point in making a fancy dinner anyway, I shuffle along down the stairs and into the living room, I can feel the bruises forming on my arms and fist where Reed hit me in the rumble. Add that to an already taxed body and I was feeling something terrible.

But a little skin fight never hurt anyone, so I can't seem to imagine why I was feeling this way.

When I put Beetlejuice into the VHS I realized; I miss Cyrus.

I recall Buffy's long winded speech about how Cyrus likes me and I better not break his heart blah, blah, blah. She was speaking so fast that I couldn't get in that I liked him way more than he probably liked me. I don't deserve Cyrus, at least Buffy saw that.

I don't think I'm going to break his heart any time soon.

I hear the phone start ringing from the kitchen line, after a few seconds of groaning (can't they see I'm mopping over here about my love life?) I stand up to go get it. I don't recognize the number but I pick it up anyway.

"Hello?"

"TJ!" Cyrus exclaims happily from the other line.

My smile grows wider as I grip tighter onto the phone line, like its gonna bring Cyrus right here.

"TJ?" Cyrus repeats and I realize I've been silent for way to long.

"I'm here! I'm here Cyrus." I say too loudly. I can feel Cyrus smiling on the other line, I can't blame him; my cheeks are already beginning to brighten. "Hey how is everything?"

The line is dead for a second. "Everyone is good. Well I mean alive, Jonah's leg is out and he's still in hospital, Andi and I saw him right before his casting and surgery to stitch him up. He was actually fine with it, doesn't even blame you but..."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I understand how close this is to you." I reassure him.

Cyrus breathes deeply, "yeah no sorry, I was just.... Can I see you?"

The question doesn't surprise me, but still makes my heart thump a little faster.

Cyrus groans on the other line, "Sorry sorry! Gosh that was not cool of me. Sorry, I'll hang up now, it just blurted out, sorry."

I laugh a little, "no-no Cy, its fine, actually its perfect timing, I need to see you as well."

"Oh, oh." Cyrus repeats, "yeah, cool. Um, does the Swings sound good? I know its late and stuff..."

I smile even though he can't see me. If only he knew how cute he was. "I'll be there in five minuets, maybe ten."

"Okay, great. Cool. Savvy, ace." Cyrus spirals.

"Cy-" I say to him, but he cuts me off. "I get it I know, be cooler, sorry, gosh I should stop apologizing. Sorry. Urg. I'm not cool." I can see him face-palming.  
"No I was going to say you're adorable." I respond, "see you soon cutie." Then I hang up the phone on the wall and collapse on the ground. Holy cow I just said that. I clench my heart, god.

What would I even wear? I mean I'm pretty sure we both have the same idea in mind. But what if we don't? I don't want to show up in a suit or tie if he's just going to tell me about Jonah.  
So instead I just wear what I have on and put slightly less gel in my hair. It's not like we're going on a date.

God Cyrus and I on a date.

Pushing any of those thoughts out of my mind I grab my keys and sprint out the door.  
When I arrive at the park its completely silent. Except for a few cicadas the only other sound I can hear is the soft squeaking of a swing.  
I watch as Cyrus's silhouette pushes back into the air before releasing and letting him launch forward. My heart pining softly for him from a distance. But then I remember that there is no reason to be this far away any more. There is no reason to have my guard up. There is no tough TJ Kippen, no straight one that is.

I approach the other swing set and sit down on it gingerly. Cyrus doesn't turn around but smiles softly.

"I told you why I love this place so much," he begins and I nod, hung on his words. "It's just so beautiful, and such a safe haven. I never told anyone about this, not even Andi or Buffy. Or Jonah. I told you TJ, I told you because I see something there, I see the most amazing, brave, handsome person and I want him to be apart of my life, more than the others. More than the others. I see that." He pushes off again.

"Sorry if this is weird I just needed you to know that. I've uh, never done this before."

I swallow, "taken anyone out here?"

"No, well yeah, but also never talked to anyone like this before. TJ... I really, really like you." Cyrus turns to look at me with his vulnerable eyes. I hear Buffy's voice in my head saying don't hurt him. "And I thought that... After you kissed me.... twice.. that you could..."

Yeah I'm not hurting him ever.

"Cyrus, look at me. I really, really, really like you too. And yeah, I think I want to be...whatever you want. Because I would do anything for you Cyrus, you are truly brighter than any star."

Cyrus smiles widely but tries to play it off, failing miserably, "well there might be one thing that is more beautiful than stars." And I was going to reply with "you", but that was before he took my hand and all words left my mouth, shivers ran up my arm.

When Cyrus leans in and kisses me once more, that sets my heart on fire. All I can do is tilt his head back and passionately kiss him back.  
And we're delicate and careful, we don't rush into anything. Instead we are safe in the cover of night, my hand linked with Cyrus's gripping it tightly and my lips on his, he smelled like dollar perfume and freshly baked muffins. That is one thing I'll never forget, that's the only thing my brain will let me remember, because the rest is stuck on Cyrus.

Cyrus kissing me. Cyrus holding my hand. Cyrus my maybe probably adorable gorgeous star-struck boyfriend.

And we stay like that forever, under the night of shining stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short little fluff, the plot will pick up soon, although there will be more chapters like this, whoops.   
> I hope you're having a good day Sunflower <3


	9. Our Love is God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god there is barely any plot here. Just more Tyrus. Sorry guys.

The whole school is mourning.

I mean it, man. Beck is still in the hospital and very much alive but people are acting like he's dead; they leave flowers at his locker, the principle had a special assembly for him and nearly every girl in the school has now become Andi's best friend, because it was her man that got hurt.  
Not me, and that's the worst part. People are starting to resent me for not getting the knife. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be, maybe because people now think that I'm Cyrus's best friend, and any friend of Cyrus's is a friend of theirs. Or maybe its because they feel bad about me cause I lost my jacket. I don't know.

What I do know is that I can't concentrate in class, exactly why I'm bringing back today's Jonah Beck memorial to mind, because if I don't then I'll look across the room at Cyrus. And if I look across the room at Cyrus then my face will flush and I might die.  
Its like I can feel his presents, Cyrus Goodman is four seats away from me, probably writing down something useful for a pop quiz that I'm going to fail because Cyrus Goodman is four seats away from me.

It has been two days since we kissed at the swings, two days since we became official boyfriends. I want to tell somebody, but Cyrus hasn't told his parents about us yet, and as much as I want to tell Amber, nowhere in my house is it safe to tell anyone.

Anyway Geography class, four seats, Memorial.

When the school bell shrills (finally I might add) everyone shuffles out of the room, I get picked up in the fast storm of neon and large hair and weave my way around it to get to Cyrus.  
"Hey," I match my pace to his as we make our way to the cafeteria. Cyrus smiles at me and my cheeks redden even thought I just had class with him, there is no chill pill in TJ Kippen when Cyrus is here.

"Hi," Cyrus leans all his books onto his left side so that his right arm swings emptily beside him, my arm reaches out and brushes his ever so lightly, I know we both want to hold hands, but we can't. Not here. Not out in public unless its dark and we're by ourselves, and I hate it.

We enter the dining hall and Cyrus leads me to his group of friends, ever since Buffy talked to me two days ago I have a free pass to sit with them whenever. Buffy and Andi are the only ones that know about us, not Walker or Jonah, but that doesn't stop our hands linking together the second we sit down and my knee pressing against his. We're safe. I think we're safe. 

"She is such a betty god." Buffy was stating to Andi as we joined the table, "like she was dipping about me saying I was a dark little brat. I'm sorry Sandy that your such a couch potato to see my baller skills."

"Totes," Andi says half-heartedly, then she turns to us, "hey guys."

"So who do I need to slug for you?" I ask Buffy after greeting Andi.   
Cyrus turns to me while unpacking his brown paper bag of lunch, "You wouldn't slug anyone TJ."

I look at him affectionately, "Cyrus... I would literally slug anyone if they're insulting my friends."

This makes Andi crack a small smile, she really hasn't been ace or smiley like usually since the accident. "You guys are nuts."

"At least we're not whoever Buffy's about to rumble with." I say and poke my spoon into the regular caf slob. Cyrus elbows my arm and offers me half of his ham sandwich which I take gratefully smiling back at him.

"Gag me with a spoon you guys are too cute." Buffy says, but her usual bite isn't in it. I watch as she turns her head and stares off at the distance, I follow her eye line and see her watching the jock table, my ex friend table. I wonder if...

"Hey TJ, I actually wanted to ask you something," Cyrus breaks me out of my trance.

"Yeah Cyrus?" Both Buffy and Andi seem to be pretty out of this world right now so it feels like Cyrus could as me something important.

"There's a new movie at the drive in tonight, and I uh, was wondering if you want to... go with me?" Cyrus's voice becomes small but his eye contact remains strong.

My heart flutters a little, "Like as a date?" To which Cyrus nods his head, "Aces. I mean yes, hell yes. I would love to go with you Cyrus, I can probably get my dads car as well." I try to not think over the fact that I said love about something with Cyrus, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Also don't we have to go pick up something from the library?" I say to him pointedly, I watch as his ears turn pink.

"Yeah, we still have like twenty minutes we should go and get that,"

Andi pulls out a cigarette and takes a long drag of it, she has also been smoking like an addict for the past couple days as well. "Sure have fun with your thing, leave me here with miss heart eyes."

I wink at Andi, "Oh we will." And me and my boyfriend walk out of the caf, our hands linking together the second we step out of it.

✭

I have one hand on the steering wheel and one hand holding onto Cyrus's over the center console as I sing along to Livin' on a prayer from the radio, the stars up ahead looking bright and beautiful (nowhere near as Mr Goodman I might add who is wearing a spotted shirt tucked into high waist-ed jeans with a matching belt and pink sweater tied at his chest)  
I went for my classic leather jacket and dark jeans and white t-shirt, but I made my hair a lot more fluffier than usual cause I know Cyrus likes it, and I like it because then Cy will run his fingers through it.

We get to the drive in a lick later and pay for two tickets, Cyrus goes to go get jiffy pop and some soda's for us while I get the car in the best spot possible; still able to see the screen but closed off enough for other things.  
I pop my dad's cars roof open as Cyrus comes back, resting the popcorn on his lap, I reach over to grab some slowly then put my arm around him, hoping it was smooth enough.

The movie starts and Cyrus leans into me as the opening scene begins.

I mean, I try to focus on the screen and the girls and Veronica sawyer and stuff but I just can't. Instead at nearly every opportunity I take I look at Cyrus and just watch him; his bright gorgeous eyes, or his soft lips, his chest rising and falling, getting faster when JD pulls out a gun and shoots blanks. 

They are at the Remington party when Cyrus looks up at me. "What is it? You keep watching me instead of the movie."

My face flushes, "Its just...you're adorable. And I want to look at my beautiful boyfriends face."

Cyrus shoves his face in his hands and mumbles, "TJ you said boyfriend."

"Thats what we are isn't it? Unless I misunderstood the other night, I tend to do that if I'm not careful or I don't know I just really like you and thought that mph-" Cyrus stops my rambling by pulling the hem of my shirt and smashing out lips together.

I stay in shock for approximately two milliseconds before kissing him back with everything I have, which short circuits my brain and I can't think straight. I'm not straight, so that makes sense.

Anyway my hands grab onto his hair and (as predicted) Cyrus runs his fingers through my own as our lips ignite together, Cyrus leans in closer and tilts his head so we kiss at a different and much closer angle and wow.  
I never want this to stop. We can't be missing anything, so I tug Cyrus closer with one hand and somehow he ends up sitting on my lap, legs around my waist and we continue to make out and my hands are around his back and Cyrus follows and I hear myself mumble his name softly so that only he can here.

We pull apart a million years later, red lips and messy hair to a whole other level.

Cyrus looks at me breathlessly, "woah."

I look to him, flushed and happier than I ever have been in my life, "yeah woah."

After that Cyrus continues to cuddle with me as we watch the movie, when JD starts to get more frantic and terrifying he clings onto me more and I soothingly trace shapes along his arm to calm him down.  
At one of the last scenes I link my hands through his and press it against my lips. "It'll all be over soon Cy." At the sound of gunfire Cyrus presses his face against my shirt, "Is she okay?" He asks about Veronica.

"She's fine, baby, are you okay?" I say gently, Cyrus pulls his face away from my chest so that he is holding both sides of my jacket and his face looking up at mine.

"Yeah its just.. I can't stand fights and weapons." He says truthfully, and I see that something has done that to him but I don't press forward about it, instead my arms stay firmly by his side.

The final scene comes on with JD walking outside the school and Veronica watching him. "She looks so cool." Cyrus comments, "Even though she has scars and will have to carry this for the rest of her life."

"You're right Underdog." I smile at him and he grins back, everyone else starts to slowly leave but I stay right with Cyrus, him looking up at me and kissing my cheek, me smiling and leaning in fully to actually kiss him.

"We should probably head home." Cyrus sighs resting his head on my shoulder.

I kiss the top of his head, "yeah..."

"But maybe just a few more minutes with you. My boyfriend. So that I can hear you call me baby again, don't think I didn't notice, darling." Cyrus says pointedly and I blush and try to think of an excuse but only manage to stammer; "A few more-e minutes would be.. amazing."

And so we stay there, just two hearts beating towards each other.


	10. Total Eclipse of the Heart

One week later I'm on the phone with Cyrus on the other line, my fingers ravel and unravel the cord, "Hey Cy how did you even get my number in the first place?"

Its silent for a second but I can here Cyrus sipping on his daily smoothie his mom makes for him, "oh Buffy gave it to me, she said she got in from Kira who had it from iris who was friends with Amber. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering," I say to the ceiling then my eyes travel along to the clock its already ten to six. "Hey Cy, I love talking to you and all but I gotta motor if I want to get ready for this party tonight, Marty's hosting one and he's one of the only guys who still digs me."

"Oh I heard Buffy's going as well.... Hey TJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I go? And I get that you think it might not be tough enough for me but believe me I've build tough skin and I think since you'll be going and you're my boyfriend and all and just yeah, can I come?"

I hesitate for a second, truth is I don't want to get Cyrus into trouble with his parents and I don't want him to get hurt. Call me a protective boyfriend all you want; I care about him.  
"I don't know Underdog...." I say unsure of myself.

But then Cyrus hooks me in with: "We can make it a date, and you could meet my parents beforehand... Please T?" I can practically see the puppy eyes.

I exhale, "...okay fine Cyrus, but I'm not drinking and you have to stay by my side the whole time, I'm not letting anything happen to you."

"Yes! Uh I mean of course TJ; this is so exciting! Thank you." Cyrus exclaims on the other line; I can't help but smile at the sound of his happiness. "So what time will you pick me up?"

"Does seven sound good to you?" I ask, already blushing from getting to take Cy on another date, of course it will be in public, but I'll still get to see him, and possibly hold his hand or feel his lips on mine.

"Seven sounds great Teej, I can't wait." Cyrus says to break me out of my chance, my heart is hammering way to loud in my chest, and all I can think about is Cyrus. That's all my brain has room for.

But whatever its not a big deal.

"Okay, I can't wait either Underdog, I'll see you soon." I reply, holding back from saying anything else, anything else would be too much.

"Oh and TJ? I really, really like you. I hope you know that." Cyrus breathes and my stomach does some gymnastics that I don't plan on telling anyone about.

"I really, really like you too Cyrus." I repeat in an instant, like a reflex.

✭

My hand twitches ever so slightly as I knock on the Door to the Goodman's house. It's a two story butter yellow thing, and I couldn't be less surprised when I first saw it. It fits Cyrus so well. Mr Goodman answers the door as if on cue, wearing a suit sans tie, but looking both tired and aces at the same time. "Ah TJ, you're Cyrus's friend I presume?"  
I hesitate, "Uh yes sir! TJ Kippen. It's a pleasure meeting you." I extend my hand out and he shakes it twice with a firm grip. I hope my hands aren't sweaty.

I'm lead to the living room, a blue couch matches the rest of the polished new furniture, some yellow and white flowers sit in a blue vase and I can see a dark wood desk sitting by itself in the corner, overflowing with papers.

"TJ!" A woman exclaims and comes walking down the stairs, she's wearing her name-sakes jeans with a natural coloured sweater thrown over the top, her dark curls spilling over her shoulder despite the shiny pin in her hair. "It's so lovely to have you here with us, and looking so nice as well! It's so great seeing Cyrus with such well dressed boys."  
I adjust my dark blue t-shirt that perfectly fits over my muscles and skim my hands over my gelled hair, knowing what the Goodman's were like really helped me slim down my clothing options. "Thank you ma'am, it is an honor to meet you." I reply politely.

"Awe, you're a doll. Well Cyrus should be down in an instant, you know he talks so much about you, its adorable like the other day he said to us-"

"That enough Mom!" Cyrus calls and comes running down stairs, "Hi T." He greets me with a flustered face, clearly not in the mood to talk about his dinner conversations about me.

I want to tell him that he looks amazing (green and yellow spotted sweater, tight jeans, all dark curls and nice shoes) or that I can't believe I get to take him out on another date, or just how lucky I really am. But his parents are both incredibly smart, they would find out in an instant and this all goes to possible hell.  
Instead I clear my throat and wink at my boyfriend while his parents rummage around for something in a bag. Cyrus in return blushes and mouths "wow." to me and I have to look away.

Mr Goodman hands me a white card, "There's our business card, just give it to Marty's parents when you arrive at his birthday party, we are always reaching out for more clients, it has out house phone for now so make sure to give it to them directly, don't want it getting lost." Then he chuckles.  
I am certain that Marty's parents will not be home, or that its his birthday party, but I pocket the card anyway and say, "yes sir."

Then we're off after more hand shakes and "get him home by eleven like a good friend", I drive with one hand on the wheel and watch the sun slowly and finally dip into the horizon, my hand in Cys. It feels right.

"Hey the stars are gonna come out soon." I say to him gently, and Cyrus nods.

"Yeah they will be, won't it?"

✭

An hour in I've lost Cyrus.

Cigar smoke fills my vision and my lungs as I trip over the hallway carpet, my hands grip a shelf filled with sporty books and a few fall out in front of me. I gently pick them up, avoiding the stain that looks suspiciously like vomit.  
But I haven't drunk anything but a soda, so despite the haze and sweaty dancing bodies to the way loud music, I can still find my way out of the house pretty easily.

Its cold and a fire is blazing, being kept alive by stoners guitar high guitar finger plucking alone. I cup my hands and call out, "Cyrus?!" But hear no response. He can't have left since I drove him here. Unless he is still here but with someone else, someone better than me.  
But Cyrus would never do that. I know for a fact. I think.  
But he's so beautiful and funny and smart and adorable. Any drunk guy could hit on him, any drunk girl. He might not even be gay...

My imagination was getting ahead of me and I started sweating despite the cool temperature. I have to get a hold of myself, and find him. I walk around the garden edge until I here a shaky inhale, coming from behind a tree, like someone was crying.

But when I turn around the trunk I only see Buffy leaning against the wood, her face wet with passes tears, but her eyes aren't red rimmed. She flinches when she sees me, but doesn't say anything. I reach up to touch her shoulder gingerly.

"Are you okay?" I say slowly.

She takes another sharp inhale, I can see the dedication in her trying not to ball, "....Yeah. I'm great. I'm always great. Ahead of my game at basketball. Get good grades." She presses her lips together. "But I'm still a girl. And I'm still.... black. So "great" isn't good enough. It never is. Not for them, so not for me. God." She presses her hands to her face. "We never get the easy break do we TJ? But now.... Now its not just my brain and body that goes under criticism. They have to take my heart as well. Based on a freaking skin color."

I stay silent while she rants to me, not telling me any specific details, but enough to make me see that there is more than just one betty in her life. And it makes me want to, as Buffy would say it, gag with a spoon.

"I've been going on for far too long." Buffy says after a while, "and you're looking for Cyrus. I think I saw him out the front of the house." I start to protest but Buffy stops me, "TJ, I'm good now, I let it all out, now I have to be more than great and you have to be somebodies boyfriend."  
She's right. She knows she's right. I know she's right.

"You're right." I say and walk away from Buffy, maneuvering my way around the shrubs to the front of the house. What seems like hundreds of old mustangs are parked out, their bright exterior shining in the moonlight. I spot Cyrus's silhouette standing on the curb. I swear I hear some other people laughing as I approach him. 

"There you are Underdog," I sigh, Cyrus doesn't turn around to face me. "I'm sorry I lost track of you, I swear it wasn't my intention and that's not what a boyfriend should do-"

"Stop it." His voice comes out small but firm. I can feel that something is wrong.

"Stop what? Cyrus, baby, are you oka-"

"Don't call me that! They could here. I don't want you to get caught. I don't want any of this to be found out. If they found out..."

"Underdog what are you talking about?" I go to touch his cheek but he pulls away.

"Just... I don't think I can do this anymore TJ." Cyrus says looking to the moon. My heart stops. This isn't right.

"What do you mean?" I say with as little courage as I can. My hands curl into a fist so that he doesn't see them shaking.

"I mean. We have to break up TJ."

oh.

"Break up? Cyrus we just-"

Finally he spins his head around and faces me, but his eyes, his eyes look lifeless and empty, and don't meet my own. And I realize suddenly that he's been crying, hard. "I get it. It was fun for you to go around and flirt with me and take me to dinner, whatever. But now, now you've got me where you've always wanted me. Good job, I'm sure Reed will give you your jacket back right away now. You did it TJ! You broke me. Are you happy now?" He sniffs and wipes a runaway tear hastily off his cheek. "And to think that you could have actually liked me."

I can't cry now, now when my head is spinning and I think I'm going to barf. "Cyrus...." I say with a shaky breath, like Buffy's a million hours ago, "Did they say something to you? Did anyone hurt you or-"

"Oh yeah they said stuff to me. About your plan, and the bet. And how you're not even gay. Some even thought you really were turning gay, said I was a disease. You just waiting to toy with me."

I look at him with not only sadness with anger, "and you believed them? Cyrus those guys are bad news! How could you think about any of that?!" I'm yelling, why am I yelling? What is happening?

"Whatever. At least I want hurt you anymore, I know it's killing you inside to pretend everything is aces."

"Don't say that. Cyrus.." What do you even say at this point?

He sees that I've given up. "It was fun while it lasted TJ. Thank you, for everything." Then Cyrus huffs, "don't think about taking me home, I'll walk."

Then the boy who my heart belongs to walks away. Leaving me in pieces.

I stand there for two more minutes, counting the seconds. Not bothering to look up. There are no stars tonight. Then I walk inside, grab whatever beers or drip drinks from keggers into used plastic cups and sit on the edge of the curb, lifting the first bottle to my lips,

and I cry so god damn hard.


	11. Fight for me -reprise-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something you should know about me: I don't like angst, as in to write and somewhat read, so with that being said my next story that I am planning is full of angst. I'm learning as I go

I want to paint my nails black and listen to sad songs from a half-broken Walkman underneath the sheets with ice cream being shoved in my mouth with a shaking hand.  
Which is exactly what I intend to do for the rest of my life.  
I'm halfway through the plastic tub when Amber lifts the blankets away from my hunched figure. I don't bother to look up at her.

"TJ you can't just wallow like this forever." She sighs and tries to take the ice cream away from me, but I hold a firm grip on it, unlike my grip on Cyrus and I's relationship.

"Bite me." I reply but it comes out more bitter than I intended. Amber huffs to blow strands of hair out of her face and walks over to my window, opening the blinds, stunning my eyes with the bright light.  
Amber sits on the bed next to me and pulls my Walkman off of my face, "TJ. Look I'm not the one to tell you to get over it. Like I can see that you could never do that. But you have to do something, its depressing me that you're here, cooped up in the dark and all."

"But why does it hurt so much Amber? Like I've been broken up with before. Why is this one different?" I mumble, I thought my eyes were empty but a few more tears spill out, I brush them away frustratingly but only manage to let more run.

"Because he's Cyrus, TJ. Because he's not like the others. Think about it Thel."

And I do; I think about Cyrus's smile when he's proud of himself in class or when he has a different sandwich every day, he'll always give me half if I need. And him reading the outsiders and telling me about all of his favorite parts. His dark sweeping hair I like to run my fingers through, and his soft cheeks. The way his parents always cover him up with sweaters but they are always just low enough for me to see his collar bone peeking out and it drives me mad.  
The way his hand feels in mine. The way he kisses me. The way we mouth words to each other and understand completely. The way he sees stars.

"Oh. Oh." I say and Amber nods, smug with herself. "He is different, he's... I'm.." I spring off the bed suddenly. "I have to tell him. I don't care if it doesn't change his decision, but I have to try." I turn to face my sister and we both get off of the bed at the same time.

"Don't worry baby bro I've got you." Amber pats my shoulder than rushes to the nearest phone in the house, I myself stay in my bedroom thinking over exactly what I just realized.  
After a minute of mumbling to somebody over the phone Amber comes back, "Okay Romeo, you're meeting your Juliet at the park in approximately ten minuets so at least put some shoes on and start running."

I kiss her on the cheek, "thank you so much Amber!" I shuffle my converse on as Amber mutters "yeah, yeah."

Then I'm out the door. Down the street. Around the corner. Can't stop, won't stop.

And suddenly Cyrus is there, Buffy's arms wrapped protectively over him, wearing my jacket which swallows his shoulders, his hair is flat and tangled, his cheeks look fresh from salty tears. Aside from his eyes that look still and numb he's as gorgeous as ever.  
Buffy smiles a little when I approach, "he's all yours. Just... don't-" she tries to form the words but can't, so instead looks me dead in the eyes with a pleading look and I nod my head slightly. I get it.

Buffy steps away out of earshot so she doesn't dip on our conversation and then it's just me and Cyrus. I take a step closer. I can hear my heart roaring in my chest. Cyrus doesn't look up. My heart rate gets louder.

I'm suddenly very aware of my outfit choice of baggy sweatpants and a basketball jersey with ice cream stains on it, I can hear the comments now, "nice head, TJ." But Cyrus isn't saying anything, so I guess it's time to man up.

I take his hands in mine and Cyrus doesn't pull away, so that's a start. "Cyrus... I know that its hard. And yeah most of it is bunk and sucks hard but..." I lift his chin ever so slightly and it may be my heart pumping my blood out way too fast but I swear Cyrus leans into it slightly. "I want to make it with you. And I'm going to do it right. Cyrus I'm really, really, really hella gay and-"

"But how do you know that? Why would you choose me over the hundreds of girls who want to touch you?" Cyrus says small-y and I remember the thoughts that crowded my head that night of the party, 'he doesn't even like you. He's probably not gay.' And I realize that they must be a bazillion times worse for him, or that someone put those thoughts in there...

I press both of my hands to the cool of his cheeks, "I know because... because..." How would I even say it? And how would that change anything if Cyrus never believes me? "Forget it, this is pointless, you would never believe me even if I did tell you."

I way the options in my head; If I walk away forever and bag my face so nobody ever sees me again, then Cyrus won't get hurt more and neither would I. If I tell him, then Cyrus will get hurt more, and my heart may as well be crushed by a car with how badly it will hurt.

I'm about to take my first step away when Cyrus blurts out, "I was scared."

I turn look at him in the eyes, his lip is quivering ever so slightly and he grips onto my jacket around his body. "What?" I reply.

Cyrus sniffs, "I was scared, an-and they had found me. They had found out because one of them wa-was at the movies with his date o-or whatever and they found out-t. They said that you finally went through with the be-bet, they all thought you we-were to chicken too, hence the letter-mans being ta-taken-n away-y." He's full on crying now, large fat tears roll off of his face and onto the ground.

"I was weak." Cyrus bites, "they had found me and I believed them because I was so scared of everything that was happening to me. I was scared because I liked you more than I imagined. So whe-when they said that stuff I just-" He stops mid-sentence to let out a half sob half laugh.

I very slowly and very gently press my hand to his cheek again and wipe away the tears. When Cyrus finally gathers himself to say more my arm is now wrapped around his back and doing small even circles, "I was scared because I had fallen in love with you."

My heart is lodged in my throat as Cyrus continues, "I was such a jerk to you TJ. I was horrible and I'm so sorry, I just doubted everything at that time because you are so handsome and the best at everything and beautiful and I knew you would never love me back-"

I let out a small laugh, which Cyrus takes as an insult so I look at him directly and say, "no-no Underdog. I'm not laughing at you, I just find it funny that you thought I could never love you. Cyrus. I do love you. A lot." And I tell him about everything that makes him so wonderful, everything that makes my heart go crazy and my brain mute. I watch as his eyes slowly go from dead and tearful to big and beautiful. I see his doubts flush away.

Cyrus buries his face in my chest. "God TJ I'm so sorry. If I didn't doubt everything and actually talked to you none of this would have happened."

"It's not your fault Cy." I kiss the top of his head, "And besides you can't keep me away. I love you." And it feels really, really aces to say that out loud. More than aces, it feels right.

I can see his ears reddening leaving a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Stop it teej. I don't deserve it. I really don't. I was horrible to you for no reason other than I was scared of loving you."

I bring his chin up to face me, "Cyrus... Just talk to me about it. I'm here for you. We're gonna work this out. Together." I keep my gaze onto him, thinking about how much I missed every inch of his being.

"Together?" He asks, unsure of himself.

"Together." I nod, Cyrus shifts slightly so that his lips connect softly with mine, my brain feels soft and fuzzy, and content. Like this is exactly how this is meant to be.

Cyrus pulls away from me, "so you're sure that you want to date me? Even with my trust issues? Even though I was awful to you?" I kiss him in reply, but he protests, "I just want to make sure, I understand if you don't want to."

I look at him as if to say 'come on, you know I would do anything for you', "Cyrus, I would walk through fire for you, and yes, yes I would like to date you, preferably forever, but no matter what; I will always care for you. You're brighter than any Star our there Cyrus, and I'm prepared to fight for you. For us. For ever."  
Then I kiss him once again and I melt. I meant every part of it; Cyrus truly is a star, brighter than that. And I feel myself shine when I'm with him.

"Are you sure you're sure?" Cyrus asks again.

I kiss him on the lips.

"But I think-"

I kiss him again.

"I should really try and make it up to y-"

"Cyrus. Stop talking. I love you."

"Hold on wait-" I stops me from connecting out lips together once more and I let out a tiny groan of frustration, but he's smiling so its worth it, "I love you too."

Then we finally realize that we don't need words to tell each other how we feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really hard to write because I needed to get across that Cyrus wasn't the best at the party, but also not have him in TJs debt the whole time. But that also meant we are just going to brush him off being a jerk. So balance is really hard to find here, I will go through some editing of this.


	12. Breaking Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a complicated chapter, you can assume that the plot was not fully developed as I wrote this one. I did have an outline, but I did not put a huge amount of character building on this character

"Hey." Cyrus reaches for my arm at the end of class as the rest of the students leave the , I swivel my head around to look at him, "Don't forget we have dinner tonight at my house."

I smile at him "I wouldn't miss it for the world, baby." Then shove the rest of my math homework in my bag and walk down the hall, Cyrus heads off in the other direction, towards the biology classroom. They just got a new reptile in and Cyrus has to see it, he told me he would explode if we didn't. I told him he's adorable.

Two girls push past me, running across the hallway, I don't think anything of it until another three follow quickly after. I stop one of them on their way. "What's going on?"

She smiles at me brightly, flicking her hair over one shoulder she says, "well cutie, Jonah Beck is back. But he doesn't compare to you."

I pat her on the shoulder, "that's great, thanks."

"Wait!" She calls out, "you can ask me more questions?" But I'm already down the hall.

A small crowd has formed out the front of the hallway, I push past them out to the front, where Beck is, wearing a cast on where we he was knifed. I see as Andi and Buffy come closer as well. Buffy goes up and high fives him but Andi hangs back. Which is weird.  
Then Walker arrives and Jonah stops looking around like he was and smiles. And oh. Oh. It all suddenly becomes very clear, Andi's hunched shoulders and sober frown. Jonah's red cheeks.

"Oh hey TJ." Jonah nods at me, he leans slightly on Walker but not for balance. "Take care of everyone for me while I'm gone?" And I don't know if that means 'you can leave now' or 'you thought you could replace me?' But either way I reply with, "yeah, well you know me and Cyrus are super close now, I just want to spend every second with him. Buffy and Andi are a bonus."

Jonah grins, "yeah its really niceberg to have those type of people in your life."

"Sure is, so should we go get lunch?" I ask and the others nod, except for Andi. I watch as they follow Jonah and I hang back to talk to her.

"Wanna talk about it?" I ask gently when everyone has gone. Andi slowly nods her head.

"Its just." She inhales, "like I knew this was going to happen; Me and Jonah, we did date for real in middle school, but then Walker came along. Don't get me wrong he's great. But uh- They were suddenly really close. When I asked him about it he started getting really upset and crying and all. And he told me that he caught feelings for him. But that wasn't the worst part, the worst part was that Walker liked him back." She pauses and I let that sink in.

They liked each other, but could never be together because of society, because of bullies and everything. 

Andi continues, "so I... I said that I would fake date him, Walker and Jonah have always been a thing, I've been the straightee stopping them from being caught."  
And I realize that not everyone had accepting parents, or enough bravery to not cover this up. Like Cyrus. Like us. 

I reach in for a hug and she takes it gladly, "god Andi that is awful."

"It wasn't so bad, I was torn for a little while, but I'm doing the right thing. The bad part is that I still love Jonah, even after all this time, but I know we can never be together." Andi sniffs and continues to hug me, I don't protest.

Andi pulls away after a little while and wipes her eyes, "but now, now I think they don't really even want to do the fake dating thing. So I don't know what to do."

"I can't tell you what you want Andi, but I can tell you that you're so smart and so pretty that anything you choose to do will pay off." I reassure her, "I'm going to go find Cyrus but do you want me to stay with you or bring you along?"

Andi shakes her head, "I'm fine now, it just feels really good to tell somebody." She kisses me on the cheek with sisterly love, "I'm good, maybe I'll go make some arts and craft, that always makes me feel better." She waves and heads off to the art room.

When I make it down the hall into the bio lab Cyrus attacks me with a fierce hug. "Well hello there. Are you okay Underdog?" I wrap my arms around him and pull him in tighter.

"Yeah I'm fine I just, really missed you." He inhales, nose pressed against my t-shirt. "And I want to tell you something, or more ask you something."

"What is it Cy?" I ask with and easy smile. Cyrus lifts his head so our faces are parallel to one another, his eyes shine with hope or something else I can't tell.

"I want to tell people about us." Cyrus says suddenly, "or at least my parents, and maybe the others. Feel free to say no. I understand, I just, love you and all and thought that others should know."

I kiss him passionately on the lips my head tilts slightly for a better angle and I can feel Cyrus's lips smile against my own, "I think telling your parents and other friends is a great idea, baby." I saw when pulling apart.

"So I can tell them at dinner? And your okay with that?" Cy asks.

"Totally. Actually I think that it will be super exciting, but for now.. We have about fifteen minuets left before our next class."

"Well then." Cyrus kisses my jaw, making me blush, "we'll have to make the most of it, won't we sweetheart?" I wrap my hand around his waist and pull him in for another kiss, my eyes slide shut as Cyrus holds my head in his hands and sweetly kisses me back.

✭

We walk down the street hand in hand that are swinging back and forth. Cyrus talking about the new iguanas the school has brought in. "They were so cute, not older than maybe one or two months, but there was only three of them. Iguanas can usually lay up to fifty eggs! And the pores were beginning to form around the legs, indicating that it was a male and mphh-" I stop him right there and aggressively kiss his lips.

"What was that for?" Cyrus's grin spreads across his whole face as we pull away, but he tries to play it off.

"Nothing I just- like- really freaking love you." I smile and Cyrus leans into me.

"I love you too. God, I don't deserve you."

I kiss his dark hair. "Believe me, I don't deserve you. But here we are. Actually I have something for you, let me just really quickly get it from my house." I drag Cyrus's arm and we continue about our way until I open the door to my home.

We stumble into the kitchen laughing and smiling until I stop dead in my tracks, my hands freeze over Cyrus's body as I step in front of him.   
"Hi dad."

My father turns his head, his hands grips one of his many bottles of alcohol. "TJ." He says, his eyes slide across the room and lay on Cyrus's. He breathes out and smoke escapes his lips. 

"I didn't think you would be home." I say to avert his attention, my voice cool. "I decided that Cyrus should come over, I have something for him."

"And you're not even going to formally introduce me?" My father says bitterly joking, he takes a swig out of his drink, straight from the bottle. I keep fierce eye contact on him.

"Dad. This is Cyrus." I swallow, "my..." I hesitate on the last word; the label. "Friend."

My father very deliberately, very loudly, drops the bottle into the sink, Cyrus inhales sharply. "Whoops." Dad doesn't turn around after smashing the bottle. "I don't want you to get hurt from my butterfingers here, why don't you head up Cyrus? TJ. Why don't you help me?"

I turn to face Cyrus, "Cy, sweetheart, go wait for me upstairs okay? I'll be right there." I hiss so my father doesn't hear. Cyrus nods slowly, 'I love you.' He mouths on his way out, he's gone to quickly for me to reply. Its silent for a second.

"That boy isn't your friend is he TJ?" My father grips the counter top. I remain quiet, my head down.   
"Answer me, son. That boy isn't your friend. You think I'm naive? I see the way you looked at him... the way he looked at you. Answer me."

My posture is rigid and slightly trembling. "He's one of my closest best friends." I reply. Dad hits the fridge next to him and I flinch.

"Dammit TJ!" He shouts, the pauses, "you think I'm stupid, you think that you can just go about life not telling me anything?"

Anger fuels up inside of me. I can't control what happens next.   
"Well you're never home! So yeah! Yeah I can't tell you stuff!" I realize after my retort that basically just confirms his question, I don't care. "Why would you even care!? You hate me anyway! What would me being gay have anything to do with it?!"

He turns around and actually faces me, his eyes carry anger, but also... also betrayal. "So what you're just going to go around in public screwing this guy?"

"Screw you dad, I love him!" I shout and through my foot down.

"Why do you think I'm worried for you!?" And that seems to click everything in to place. I stop. He repeats himself. "You think I hate you TJ? You think I despise that you're queer? No. That's all wrong. You're wrong." He swallows. 

More silence. 

"But, but the alcohol, the fighting.." I point out as my head starts to spin. Its too quiet and the voices in my head are too loud. I want to be right. I don't trust any of this.   
My thoughts are swimming, coming up with explanations. He's the bad guy.   
Isn't he? 

"TJ." My father starts again, his hand on the sink, my name comes out firmly from his mouth. He's the bad guy.   
"The day we lost your mother was the day you lost me. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. But the fact that neither you or Amber seemed to care was when I started working harder. Got a promotion, you guys didn't need me so I took the job on the other side of town. Too far to make it back every night. But You never seemed to care." He rubs his face tiredly.

I reply the fight in my head and realize non of it was about me being gay, or fixing me or shipping me away. He still called me son. It was about him protecting me. "Shoot." I say numbly.

He lets out a dry laugh, "yeah kid. Shoot. Screw all of this."

"I don't know what to say." I really don't. Words can't really express how this makes me feel.

"You don't have to say anything son. I just thought you should know that I'm.... sorry for the way I acted. I was a horrible father. I just... I guess, seeing you happy with that boy- Cyrus- it made me jealous that you could still love someone. Against me, who can't seem to love anything any more. And I just kept hoping that one way or another I would but.. nothing works. Dammit." He pounds the countertop, but his usual anger isn't in it. 

I suddenly don't control my arms any more because I wrap them around my father. I can smell tobacco and beer on his jacket. But not in a bad way, like I'm not hugging a new version of him, like he will always carry his past. But just trying harder now. 

I don't know why. I don't know how. I can't control anything about me right now. Which is the only reason I'm this close. 

"I don't know where this puts us. But maybe... maybe we're a little bit closer to understanding." I mumble. He pats me on the back to reply.

When I pull away though, "hey TJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Cyrus seems like a nice kid. Probably a nerd too. Maybe he can get your grades up."

I smile lightly, "yeah." Then head up the stairs. When I open the door to my bedroom Cyrus turns around from sitting on my bed, his hands are gripping my bed sheets so tight they have turned white, and his eyes shining with promise of tears.

"It was so loud." He starts to spiral, I can hear the breaking in his voice, "and then so quiet and I thought you could have been badly hurt. Or wo-worse. Or deadd. But I co-couldn't go downstairs because it was so-so sca-scarily quiet and I didn't know what to do and I thought that I had l-lost you-u an-and-" 

I swallow him withing my arms with a hug. "shhh. Hey I'm right here. I'm right here, sweetheart. I'm fine, okay? I'm fine, baby. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"Bu-but your dad.." He starts to cry, I lift his head and wipe the tears away gently.

"He's fine Cyrus. We're fine. Just had a little talk. We're gonna be fine."

"You're sure?" He asks quietly and I nod my head. He stands up on his toes and kisses me gingerly on the lips. Its soft and sleepy, more like a reassurance. I bend down to comply, holding his head in my hands as my lips explore his own. Then, with my lips still attached, I sit Cyrus down, and don't let go until he stops shaking. When we resurface I go to my closer and pull out a box.

"This is what I got for you. Or I got Andi to help but yeah. And Its not something big so you don't have to get super excited over it. I just thought it would be cool and I hope you like it and-" His hands and already opening the present.

"Oh my gosh, TJ!" He exclaims, and any of his previous worry melts away, Inside of the box is Cyrus's very own varsity jacket, dark blue and white, like my old one but if you turn it around- "wait. TJ! You made this just for me? Oh my god. I love you, holy cow." He kisses my cheek. "This is incredible."

I smile, my ears red, "sorry it's not super creative, but I just thought-" I'm cut off by another kiss.

"I love it. I love you." Cyrus tells me truthfully, "And as much as I love staying here and you not being dead and all, we have to motor if we want to make it to my parents."

"Oh yeah totally! Let me just grab this." I reach back into my closet and pull out my own, new, varsity jacket and Cyrus melts, mine is like Cy's but the colors and swapped. "Okay lets go, shall we light of my life?"

He grins, "we shall, my love." And he slides into place on my right, holding my hand so that the jackets perfectly well reads: 

He's A  
Shinning Star


	13. Danger Zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has two parts. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as this one <3

Its Tuesday afternoon when Cyrus gets the phone call. We're cuddling on the couch at his place, Cy's parents invited us for dinner again, watching old movies when Cyrus gets the phone call.  
My arms were wrapped around my boyfriends as he sat in my lap, staring both intently at the screen but every so often at my lips. I moved in to kiss him as the shrill ringing goes off. I groan a little as Cyrus laughs and stands up to go get it from the desk.

"Hello?" He asks, its silent for a few seconds as the person on the other line responds, I drum my fingers on my legs.

"Who is it?" I ask from the couch, but Cyrus has gone deathly quiet. "Cy? You okay?" I turn my head to look at him and see that his face has gone ghostly pale along with his silence. That can't be good. I jump off the couch and catch the phone just in time as Cyrus drops it.

"Listen up I don't know who the hell you are, but you better hang up right now!" I shout into it so loudly I can hear it echo back at me. There are snickers on the other line.

"Oh look Tgay is here to defend his f**g*t boy toy." I know that voice.

"Reed? How the hell did you get this number?" I try to remain calm but I can feel the anger beginning to boil inside of me. I look over to Cyrus who is watching me with fearful eyes, I take my free hand in his and start to trace my thumb over it. Possibly too quickly as well, because this calms neither of us down.

"Oh! You don't remember Marty's kegger?" More laughing, "Cyrus was having such fun with us! It's a shame he had to go home early, and we were just messing around when we saw this card on the floor-" My blood turns icy and my grip on Cyrus becomes tenser, "-and we thought, why not give the homo a little home phone call?"

With herculean strength I manage to mutter, "You.. are sick."

"No." Replies Reed, "You two are. And we're gonna make sure you get all the treatment you need Tgay. You can't run from us, and your boyfriend definitely can't. Not even with a knife after him. Have fun burning in hell f**s." Then the line goes dead.

"TJ?" Cyrus mumbles quietly after a few seconds, I can still hear ringing in my ears. Loud, piercing ringing. "TJ?"

I don't look at him in the eyes, I can't. This is my fault, all of it. I've hurt him too many times. "Yeah Cy?" I swallow.

"What are we going to do?" More ringing. I don't have an answer for him. "TJ... What are we going to do?"

The ringing doesn't stop.

✭

On Wednesday Morning I'm out the front of Cyrus's house at 5 am. I called Buffy, who told Andi, who told Jonah and Walker (who were obviously in the same place) and we all agreed that Cyrus was the number one priority until we know there is no more danger. Walker and Jonah said that they would try and talk to Marty and make sure the school is safe before the rest of us walked in, with our minds only on protecting Cyrus.  
But Andi also asked if I'm okay, and I realized that I hadn't really stopped to think about how all of this made me feel.  
It makes me feel guilty and responsible, and I want to throw up and cry or punch Reed in his too large face all at once. But I don't think any of the others get that.

Anyway, I shiver in my new letter man due to the lack of sunlight and cooling temperature as we approach Winter, and slowly start making my way to the side of the house where Cyrus's room is. I kick one leg over his family's water tank after straggling over the garden hedge, I jump and grab the bars to his windowsill and climb through, its open just enough for me to squeeze in, but still blocks the wind and leaves it unsuspected.

I brush off Cy's white curtain over my head and topple onto the floor. I can hear Cyrus giggling and I roll onto my stomach, balancing my head on my hands. "Fancy meeting you here." I wink at him.

Cyrus laughs in his spotted undone pajamas shirt and matching pants. I try not to think about his exposed stomach or how quiet it is in his house, or that I have a good two hours with him before the others get here.

Cyrus lifts me up, (or tries to, but mostly I help him) as I tease to him. "Dreadful etiquette I apologize." Making a Heather's reference.

"That's okay." Cyrus replies in the exact same way Veronica does, then cups my face and pulls me down for a kiss, I put my hands over his and lean into it.

Its an Early Morning Kiss, the one that speaks hello-I-missed-you-and-I'm-glad-I-get-to-kiss-you-this-early. The type I wish me and Cyrus could do every morning, forever. So I make sure that I'll never forget it as I deepen the connection.   
Although Cyrus is still tired from waking up so early his strength slowly dwindles and he collapses in my arms. "Its too early for this." He moans, and I chuckle.

"Yeah, but until we can take Reed down, I have to take care of you." I kiss his bedhead.

"I have to take care of you too, Andi said. You can't just lift the weight of bullies, insults and pain off of my shoulders and not have it be set onto yours, trickling down your back. You have to feel the pain sometimes, sweetheart. Or else it will gnaw at you from the inside out." He looks up and gently strokes my face with his thumb. "You have to feel TJ."

'I do feel.' I is what I want to say to him, but I can't get the words out, instead I bury my head in the crook of Cyrus's neck and nuzzle it softly. "You're right." I sigh.

"I know," Cyrus says affectionately, then with his arms still wrapped around me, we slowly backwards walk/shuffle onto his bed. We lay horizontal as our hands and fingers trace around the others face, memorizing every detail. With barely any space in between its easy to get lost in Cyrus's dark enriching, enchanting eyes.

"Have you always had those tiny freckly there?" Cyrus half whispers, thumbing my cheek gently, I feel the tension in me slowly release at the touch. 

"Have you always been so beautiful?" I ask in return, and I love him so much it hurts.

Cyrus doesn't respond, instead he yawns, and as if slotting into place, pressed his back to my stomach.

"Good night, sweetheart." He mumbles tiredly.

I kiss the side of his ear, then his neck, feeling off his body warmth, "Good night, baby."

✭

Approximately four hours later all four of us (Cyrus, Andi and Buffy) are staying in the library until school starts. Or the others are, I remove my arms from around Cyrus and gently push him off my lap, checking my swatch. "Metcalf should be here by now, I'm going to go talk to him about this."

Buffy pushed me back down, "There's no way we just split you guys up, you know Reed, you know he'll go for the kill."

I know she's right. She knows she's right. "You're right, but I really think that he won't understand if you tell the story, plus its a lot of detail going from the start." I reason with her.

Buffy huffs, "Fine then you-" she points at my chest, "and I will go to Metcalf. You-" she points at Andi, "protect him-" Cyrus. "And then we'll all be savvy, no problemo."

"Uh sure," I see no point in fighting with her, "We can't be longer than twenty minutes, tops okay?" Cyrus and Andi nod.

Cyrus balances on his knees, pulls on my shirt and smashes our lips together, "stay safe for me, will you? Don't do anything stupid."

I kiss him back hungrily as if we're going to war, not the principles office, "I promise."

✭

Metcalf clasps his hands together on the desk as I finish telling him the story. "Thank you for giving me this news Mr Kippen, I have no idea the homophobic and segregation going on was so severe, I'll make sure to end this immediately, if you could just take me to Mr Goodman, I wish to discuss this topic with him as well. If that is aright with you."

I nodded, "oh yeah totally, we were just hanging out in the library, we still have time before class." Then I look to Buffy as if to say 'See, this isn't so bad' and we all walk out of the office.  
I somewhat fast pace, as if my body knows, (or more so my heart knows) that its going to see Cyrus and wants to speed up the gap between.   
When we arrive at the library its deadly quiet. Not unusual because of the lack of students, but it still sets me off edge a little.

The spot we were in before is empty. "Cyrus?" I call out but get no reply.

"Maybe they just wanted to get an early heads start on class." Buffy shrugs and flips over a bean bag to reveal the half beaten copy of the outsiders. I shake my head.

"They wouldn't just leave without us." I look around to Principle Metcalf, who's face was starting to grow with doubt.

"Mr Kippen, if you think this is funny-" He begins.

"No this is real, I swear to you!" I rush back out into the hallway, Buffy on my heels, "Cyrus! Cyrus where did you go?" I know it isn't safe to call his name out like that when this school is swarming with Reed's side kicks, but something feels wrong.

Buffy is just about to probably reassure me its nothing again, as she puts a hand on my shoulder, but at that moment we hear a terrifying, blood chilling scream. Followed by a much more muffled one.

I don't look at either of them. I just run.


	14. Danger Zone -reprise-

My feet fly across the floor, even if I have no real idea where I am going, I've lost Metcalf and Buffy, hopefully they followed but for now I need to focus on Cyurs. If I knew ehere Cyrus was... Then another scream echo's down the hall. Then I hear a "TJ!" and I know exactly where they are. 

I push open the cafeteria doors swiftly and nearly run right into a table. The sight in front of my tugs at my stomach, I don't think I'm going to be sick, but I put my hand over my mouth just in case. Reed has Cyrus dangling over one of the tables, his too long hands around his neck. Andi is being held back by David, who seems to be way to close for comfort, when I enter everybody freezes and Reed sneers.

"What'd I tell you boys? I knew the *** couldn't keep away. He's in love!" He fake swoons and Cyrus nearly topples forward onto the hard caf floor.

"Let him go." I say, my voice hardened. The others actually laugh. I see a few of them hesitate, some barely smile at all. And I know that none of this has to happen. They don't want it to happen. It's the Jacket. It's the power.

"Or what Tgay?" Reed challenges, "it's not like you'll be able to throw a punch without hurting your precious boyfriend."

"Like he could throw a punch at all." Lester says from behind and shoves me into a table, it hits me right in the gut and I fall onto the floor. Lester keeps kicking me. And I guess a few of them thought it would be fun because they join in. Hard basketball sneakers strike my chest, my back, my head. I curl up into a ball. I have room in my head for three things.

One: Reeds chanting, or more so yelling with orders

Two: Cyrus yelling my name hoarsely, and the sound of tears in his throat

Three: Lester's shoe in my stomach.

And suddenly four: my hands curled into a firm fist.

I manage to shove Lester and the others off of me, in enough time to wobbly stand up. My hand clutches my stomach, despite the bruises already forming, I take one good look at Reed and stand up straight.

"Maybe you didn't hear me. I asked you to let Cyrus go." I say coldly.

Reed cackles, "oh look at this big strong man. Take one more step forward and the *** gets it."

I hesitate, then start walking towards him. Reed smiles like this was his plan all along, then he very carefully pulls out a flick knife from his back pocket and holds it an inch away from Cyrus's face. "I warned you." He sneers. Cyrus's eyes are so small and my fear is so large.

Then Cyrus does something I would never imagine he would do, but I guess this isn't his first rodeo. Anyway. He bites down on Reeds hand strangled around his neck. Hard.  
Reed yelps in pain and let's go immediately, Cyrus falls forward and smacks down on the hard floor. I hear him moan and just lay there.

I rush over to him, "Yo Tgay! I'm not finished with you yet." Reed holds his bitten hand like a vampire sunk his teeth in, not a seventeen-year-old boy. "Now that you've spread your nasty germs all over me I can finally show the school what you really are-" He pauses and takes a step closer; I can smell the smoke and gum in his breath. I recoil as he finishes. "-A bunch of ugly, stupid ***s who can't do anything but burn in hell with their disgusting behaviour."

I don't think. I just jump on Reed. Using my back hand my fist and his face make quick impact. I push him into the tiles and continue to punch him, twist his hands and don't stop until I can feel the blood running out of him. Until he bleeds like pig on a hunting ground. I don't stop. I hit him again, pull at his hair. Think of all the times he hurt me, or Cyrus or Buffy or anyone. I use it against him.  
Every  
Single  
Time.  
His knife slips out of his grip and I watch it fall to the floor. My fingers itch to touch it. I am about to before I look up and see Cyrus on the floor next to me. He has managed to sit up and lean against a table, but his eye is swollen and there are tears down his face. He looks like he's seen a ghost. His eyes are dark and fearful. Afraid.

Of me.

I get up from Reed immediately and look down at his sorry excuse of a body. I'm pretty sure that arm won't be playing basketball for a while. I look around. Everyone else has left, except Andi and one of the jocks, he's helping her up and apologizing like he just caused a nuclear explosion.

"TJ?" Cyrus asks in a small voice. I look up and swallow. Cyrus reaches up and touches my cheek. His finger is suddenly covered with blood, I pull his hand into mine and swallow again.

Then I start to cry.

I bawl and Cyrus pulls me forward and I get his dirty sweater covered in tears. Cyrus runs his hands down my back. Reed must have gotten up and left without a word. Andi and Jason- I think his name is - stays back but also silent. I lift my head and press my salty lips to Cyrus's neck, burying my head in the crook of his neck.  
"It's okay TJ." He says gently, and I don't think I just focus on breathing and Cyrus's hands. "It's okay, sweetheart. Sweetheart. You're feeling. It's okay to feel, darling."

I don't know when I stop crying, or when I start blabbering off apologize like Jason or when Metcalf called the police again, only to have them chase after Reed. Or when the Principle files my suspension (three days for violence but also because I'm injured).

Me and Cyrus walk home, or we both lean on each other from our lack of strength back to my house. We collapse on my bed and our hands are delicate. Our lips are soft. Our hearts are gentle.

"I'm sorry." I whisper hoarsely, if there were any more tears left for me to shed I would have started bawling aging.

Cyrus takes my hand and presses my knuckles to his lips. Some of them are split from the punching, but Cyrus's butterfly lips don't sting at all. "It's not your fault, sweetheart." He keeps using his pet name for me to calm me down. "You made a difference today. That's what counts."

"I could have hurt you." I say.

"I'm still here aren't I? You could never hurt me TJ. Here-" He pushed my palm against his heart, "-that heart beats for you. It always will."

There's a lump in my throat. "I love you." I choke out.

Cyrus kisses my forehead. "I love you too."

And I lay there with my face to Cyrus's chest, feeling his warmth and his heart, which beats for me. And I must be starting to drift off because next thing I know Cyrus has pulled a blanket over the two of us and slowing singing a lullaby until I really do fall asleep.


	15. My Boyfriends Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *inhale* okay, this chapter...  
> I don't even know what I was thinking.   
> I think actually the purpose of this was a) a Tyrus chapter to balance out the angst, B) suppose to show that they feel much safer, like they have gotten the bad out of the way and no longer have to feel self conscious about anything, they're safe.   
> Okay anyway, read it if you want. I hope you don't hate it.

I'm sitting on my bed, back to the blankets listening to a mix of Queen and AC/DC from my Walkman headphones. It's my second day of suspension, and its quiet. But I don't seem to really mind the quiet. I guess after being in the wrong kind of loud and the deathly kind of silence, it's nice to remember what peace can really feel like.  
Dad wasn't even that furious or mad when I told him the news. He actually blamed himself and said he should have taught me how to throw a proper punch. That and also maybe don't beat up kids in the school cafeteria, that's probably a bad thing.

But my cuts and bruises are starting to heal, and I slept like a log yesterday. The only thing that is a negative in this is that I can't see Cyrus. I would figure that his parents probably don't want him around me anymore. Which is totally respectable, but I just wish I could kiss him one more time without their disapproving eyes, to hold him without worrying whether this be the last time.

I just wish.

And as if it were magic, a stone hits the side of my widow, missing the actual glass by an inch. Then another one hits it dead center as I'm taking my Walkman's off. I rush over to the window and see Cyrus, carrying his bag self-consciously over his shoulder, pegging another rock at the window. He stops when he sees me.

"Underdog!" I exclaim happily. Cyrus grins back.

"Oh good, I thought I was going to have to break in. You weren't answering the door." He sighs with relief and I laugh. Then Cyrus puts on a British accent and cries out, "oh sweet Juliet...can I come in? It's getting cold out here."

I giggle, "Let me just drop my hair down for you to climb up," then I poke my head out the window sideways. Cyrus smiles brighter and makes his way down the door.

I rush downstairs and slide across to the front to unlatch door. When I open it, Cyrus greets me with an immediate hug, pulling me in tightly. Without hesitation I hug him back. He is cold from the winter weather, put warms up pretty quickly in my arms.

"I missed you." I say softly, resting my head on his hair.

"I missed you too, sweetheart." Cyrus replies, he moves to kiss me on the lips. I blush as his lips trace mine. "And I brought you something too."

He reaches into his bag and pulls out a new copy of the outsiders. I take it into my hands, "Cyrus, you got me another copy? Oh my god! Thank you!" I say too loudly and wrap my arms around him once again.

"You're welcome Teej, I thought you might need something to do while you're stuck here by yourself." Cyrus replies, slightly muffled due to his face in my chest.

"Well I'm not alone now am I?" I say while pulling away. "Not that I'm complaining." I take his hand and lead my boyfriend through the empty house. "Do you want to eat? Or watch another movie? Or eat and watch another movie? Or we could just cuddle on the couch. With kissing. Preferably with kissing. But its totally your call. What if we ate and watched a movie while cuddling?" I ramble on. Cyrus is probably breaking his parents rules, and walked in the cold all the way over here just to see me. I have to make sure it's worth while.

Then he stops, pulls me towards him and kisses me fiercely. With passion and longing and like it's been a million years, not two days. "Or this." I mumble before smashing my lips back onto Cyrus's. He tastes like chocolate chip muffin, which isn't surprising or a complaint.

I wrap my hands around his waist, pulling him in feverishly. My kisses trail to his cheek, then neck, coming in a full circle back to his lips. Cyrus says my name softy and tugs tightly on my hair as his hands trial around it.

I'm pushed against the wall by Cyrus's pure force and me being completely weak at the knees. I might be swooning. Anyway, we stumble around, all limps and lips and closeness. And somehow make it to the couch without falling down entirely.

Cyrus is laughing and smiling through our connected lips. And I couldn't be more in love or happier.

"God I love you." I mumble and kiss a spot under his eyes. "Like-" kiss, "holy crap-" kiss, "I love you." Kiss. There's a hidden freckly under his eye lid. I kiss that as well.

Cyrus takes my hands away from his face and kisses both of them on the knuckles. "I love you too." He says softly and leans towards me, he wraps his legs around my back. "Sweetheart."

His thumb brushes over one of my many cuts and I wince. Cyrus stops and looks at me in the eyes, "Sorry." He mumbles, "I forgot how badly you were hurt."

I take his hands in mine and kiss him swiftly. "S'okay. It's really just my chest area that's sore, the cuts here are nothing." Then Cyrus gently places a hand on the side, right between my lungs and waist line. I inhale sharply.

"Does this hurt?" His voice is thin and more like a hum then a sentence. I swallow and place my hand on his, moving it up and down my chest, because it feels so. So. Much better with his magical touches.

I have my eyes closed as Cy traces his fingers along my neck, broad shoulders and stomach with his other hands. I feel warm at the touch, like I could catch on fire. I think I am. Fire. Cyrus is the sun. And I am nearly a reflection of his beauty.

His lips touch the places they've traveled like ghost light. I barely move through all of this. Not wanting to disturb his molten love seeping into me. Eventually his slight teasing becomes too much and I force my shirt off. I flutter my eyes open as heat returns to Cyrus's cheeks. But his fingers don't stop. He looks up and I kiss his lips.

I don't realize I'm tugging at his sweater with more force than I intend until Cyrus uses my hands to lift it above his head. I swallow. The sun is setting in the outside world. I'm a million miles away. Drifted off into another infinite plane. I'm with the stars. I am stars. Cyrus looks at me in the eyes. He's shining. We're shining.

"You are beautiful." I whisper. "Baby." Then with a newly found heat of passion I kiss him fiercely. Cyrus doesn't hesitate. His fingers never stopped. I can feel him everywhere. I can barely process beyond "Cyrus Goodman is beautiful" and "I am going to die if I don't kiss his color bone soon" in my own head. But it's like I can hear every part of him humming with gracefulness.

"Can we-" Cyrus pauses, then kisses my lips again, "-go upstairs?"

I don't hesitate to answer. I bring my lips to his color bone, and pick him up swiftly. Carefully we become part of the darkness, but closer to the sky. To the stars.

✭

I wonder what the world would think if they knew how much we wanted each other. Our fingers itching to feel the others skin. The pure wanting we both process. What would they say. What would the world say if they knew that two boys, alone in darkness, could create such beauty compared to theirs?

We're limps and lips. We're fire and sun. The real sun, the one from our world is long gone. But Cyrus still shines. I guess I've become moonlight then. His love brings me so much higher than I could have imagined.  
We are gentle and caring and love. Together we reveal layers of love between the soft bed sheets. I tell Cyrus I love him. He tells me the same. Over and over.  
I ask him if he's okay. He says the same. Our fingers grip fingers, the bed sheets, our hair, skin, everything. Tightly, softly. My words become song. His skin becomes flushed. We rediscover each other, through eyes, hands, hearts. Over and Over again.

And he is so warm. And the bed is so soft. And I both know we are thinking "want, want. Want." And We love each other so much. 

We are making a catastrophic, stupid, irreversible, poetic, loving mistake.

I wonder what the world would say at that.

I wonder if they knew, as Cyrus falls asleep in my arms after what feels like years of lips against mine and love, ("goodnight, sweetheart. I love you." "Goodnight, I love you too, baby.") that I don't care a single bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.


	16. New Sheriff in Town -reprise-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reactions in this chapter ARE slightly unrealistic, but I wanted to kind of bend the rules here for the sake of our characters

On Tuesday morning I walk into school with newly found confidence. I mean it could be the fact that as Cyrus and I approached the school building that he slid his hand into my back pocket.

"Cy?" I looked at him and he gave me soft innocent eyes. We've been more loving that I ever could have imagined ever since my suspension. Practically inseparable. I love it. I love him. "Aren't you afraid of what others will say?"

He shrugged, one shoulder more than the other due to his positioned hand. "I don't think there will be any issues any time soon Teej."

"Well then," I smiled at him and put my arm around his shoulders and gave a squeeze. Cyrus lifted his chin (adorably) to kiss me and I comply without hesitation.

But anyway, it's good to be back.

Jonah's leg is on his way to being healed, which is good for him, but also good for all of us who had to carry his books and lunches. Everything feels sort of mundane now, but also different. Like the girls playing on the basketball courts before school in the gym as I passed by, or the "nerds" talking to some of the jocks about their favorite musicians as Cyrus waves to one of them.

And I don't mean to say that Reed was stopping all of this, but yeah. It's different. It's good.

My locker is slightly jammed as I try to open it. "Come on you piece of old metal, work with me here." I mutter to it and Cyrus giggles. I turn to him, grinning. "Should we kiss it for good luck?" At that he laughs harder but brings his fingers to his lips and then to the blue metal.

I give it one more swift yank and the door flies open. A bundle of red and yellow fall out of it. I pick it up gently. "What..." I start to say before holding it out in front of me.

It's the jacket. Coaches Letterman Jacket.

"How did it even get here?" I say quietly.

"Maybe he finally saw how powerful you really are-" Cyrus suggests and I know he means Reed, "-and decided that it was time for some old, new leadership." Then he tugs at my own dark blue twinning Letterman, looking down at the floor he continues, "I guess you won't need this anymore."

"Hey, hey look at me. Cyrus, I would never get rid of this. Look." I lift his head up and stare at Cyrus Goodman's impossibly warm eyes, and I know it sounds cliché, but it feels like a light-bulb blinks on top of my head. "I have an idea okay. Just give me until lunch."

"Okay, I'm going to go find Jonah, he should still be limping a little and I feel bad for him." Cyrus says and starts to walk off but I grab his hand.

"Hey, wait, the periods going to end and I won't see you till break." I pull him in so our foreheads are nearly touching, I look around to check if nobody else is in the hallway, they're aren't. Even though Reed is gone, anyone could still find out, I don't think all of the junkies are even gone. I'm not letting Cyrus get hurt again.

"I love you, stay safe, kick some solid algebraic butt for me in class today, Baby." I say low enough so that only he could hear.

Cyrus grins, "you're crazy, sweetheart. I love you too." And kisses my cheek, even though that's a huge risk, even though we could get badly hurt for this.

Maybe I am a little crazy in love with him.

✭

"You're insane Kippen. Totally crazy." Jason exclaims and runs his fingers though his dark hair. Patrick nods along with him and leans against the gym's lockers. "What would the school even say about this? We have a rep to maintain."

I pace a few steps parallel to them, "who cares what the rest of the school thinks, I can't do this anymore, and I you've sure as hell seen what happens when others try to do it."

"It could work." Marty speaks up.

Patrick laughs and his cigarette nearly falls out of his mouth, "we all know why you want to do this; your vote can't count in this."

"So this is a vote now? Technically I still have the power, and I don't remember there ever being an option to vote against it." I say coolly but still smiling.

"It could be worse, at least you're not trying to get him to do it." Ryan dribbles a ball between his legs.

"You shut your mouth, Church. Don't ever bring Cyrus into this unless you wanna transfer to Washington with sixteen broken bones." I snap, my mood changing instantly. Ryan stops the ball and ducks his head. Smart kid.

"Oh Kippen's in love!" Jason exclaims and leans on me, "when's the wedding Tgay?" I know he means it in a non-threatening way, which is the only thing stopping me from breaking his neck.

"I'll let you know when I can marry who I want, the government finally grows some logical brain cells, stops killing innocent people and burning down their dreams, literally, you Heteros, when it happens." I shove him off as a collective "ooohs" come from the small crowd. "And don't pretend you weren't buying all the jewellery your money can afford for a certain best friend of mine, name starts with A?"

Jason flusters and sits down on the bench next to Ryan.

I continue, "Anyway, we're getting off topic, I'm doing this, whether you like it or not. I just thought you big strong fellas might need a warning every time something you can't seem to comprehend comes your way." I huff and fiddle with the hem of my collar.

"Hey, man." Ryan starts, clearly trying to redeem himself, "you went through hell these past couple of weeks. And we weren't the teammates we should have been. Good thing you had your boy, who was more of a man then we ever were. But we will back you on this. Like we should have backed you then."

He holds out his fist and I bump it gratefully.

✭

"Ladies and Gentledudes!" Patrick is standing on the table, yelling at everyone. I don't know when he thought this was part of the plan, but it gets everyone's attention in less than a lick so I'm not complaining. "Earlier this year we were doing this exact same thing. Except earlier this year, we were doing this with a useless piece of crap that was more toxic than our uniforms after a game.

"As most of you have seen, Mr Reed seems to be absent. And he might be gone for a little while over forever, so you all know what that means, Mr Kippen?" He gestures to me, Cyrus looks at me curiously, "what are you doing?" he mouths, "trust me" I reply, and also stand up, because I have too, and it's a little fun.

"So before the reign of terror, there was my reign." I begin and hold out the jacket, "but now, now I think we're done with the generations of dumb jocks running around being idiots. So please welcome your new, much smarter leader," Dramatic pause, (Cyrus has taught me a lot about this affect from movies) "Miss Driscoll, will you please join me on the table?"

Buffy stares at me and my outreached hand from across the table, with humor and curiosity (but not fear, never fear) in her eyes. She finally takes it, (my hand that is) and I wrap the jacket around her.

The room is silent for a second before Cyrus exclaims, "yay, Buffy!" and starts clapping, that is followed by my teammates, the "nerds", the girls with big hair, girls with short hair, the JV jocks. Everyone.  
Or nearly everyone, those who have different opinions take one look into my eyes and decide to remain silent. 

Buffy turns to me, "is this for real?"

"As real as I am gay." I reply and she smiles but gets down from the table immediately.

Marty hugs her tightly, before realizing what he's done and let goes quickly, ears red. Buffy laughs and wraps her arms around him again. I watch as his eyes go from fearful to hearts quicker than Cyrus wrapping his own hands around me and kissing me right on the lips. In front of all these people.  
Wolf whistles and gasps escape the crowd, but I've shut my eyes as I melt into him, my heart beating faster (only because of Cy kissing me, and not the crowd) and hands linking with his own.

And for once I don't think it matters if anyone is watching.


	17. Big Fun, Big Hearts & Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is coming to a close guys, thank you to anyone who came this far, thank you <3

"So he just sat in that bed, with three other gross old people I might add, for years not working and then suddenly: 'Going back to a chocolate factory? Better magically be able to dance again!' It's ridiculous." I gesture to the TV where Grandpa Jo is suddenly the most able-bodied person in the world.  
Cyrus laughs. We're sitting on the couch at my place, Cy laying horizontal with his head in my lap and me running my fingers through his hair.

"I don't know why you're complainin' about every little detail Teej, its a kids movie, there's suppose to be whimsical and wicked, not detail and nerdy calculations of probability." Cyrus then turns so he looks up at me, "but you're right, Grandpa Joe is a pretty twisted, useless old guy. Now shush, the good stuffs about to start."

I lean back on the couch, but stay silent to his word as the movie goes on. My hands start making tiny braids (that unwind the second I let go due to Cyrus's short hair).  
I hear loud footsteps coming down the stairs as my Father heads out for his weekend away at work. He knows about us, and probably doesn't even care how loving we are in this house, but that doesn't stop Cyrus from sitting up fast as a lick and us both swiveling our heads.

"I'm gonna head out now TJ. You best behavior your selves. Call me if there's any issues and there should be enough food in the fridge, if not get Amber to bring some more from work. Bye." His hand is at the door, "oh and Cyrus, make sure this one doesn't get into any more fights, I don't think the rest of the family can take much more of him moping around wishing he was with you."

Cyrus nods, "yessir." Then they both grin at each other as heat rises to my ears. And then my Father is out the door.

"'Moping around around wishing I was with you?'" Cyrus teases, "what would that be like? 'Oh Cyrus! My heart cannot bare to stand another second in this house without your luscious being! I shall surely not live to see another day without you my love! Let me lie here and wallow in AC/DC songs!'" He exclaims throwing himself backwards on the couch in a fit of giggles.

I throw a pillow at him, "You're suppose to be on my side!"

He sits up, "I am on your side," then he presses on hand to my chest and leans in closer, probably not good if my sudden burst heart-rate excels out of my chest.  
"Thelonious?" He whispers, suddenly very confident. I can feel his breath on mine, his face less than an inch away from mine.

I swallow, which seems to be the only thing I can control right now, (see racing heart and flamed cheeks) "y-yeah?" (see also stuttering)

"You not being at school drove me wild. But I would never... wallow away to AC/DC." Then he collapses back onto the pillows, smiling.

I try not to cross my arms like a five year old, "Thats not fair, you know using my name is my weakness." Which is true, ever since Cyrus found out what it was, (Amber told him while I wasn't in the room, figures) he only used it to get me flustered.

"Oh is it?" He replies teasingly, hands behind his head.

"It is...Baby." I practically jump on him, my legs on either side of his lower stomach, hands holding onto his belt buckle. Cyrus stares up at me suddenly red faced and I lean down.

And smack him with another pillow.

Laughing, I grab Cyrus's shirt and smash our lips together, "how about we call it a tie for today, Love?"

He raises an eyebrow, "that works for me, Sweetheart." And kisses me again.

We've completely forgotten about the movie. My hands are around his waist and Cyrus is gripping my hair as our lips trace the others. Our hands fine each other and lace together. No sweaters or leather jackets today, both of us have stayed indoors with the heater on for two long for that, so instead I start undoing Cyrus's shirt buttons as he continues to kiss me. His chest is warm and slightly pink, I let him lift up my own.

Then there's a knock at the door. Or more of a lighthearted pound.  
We break apart and stare at each other and take a second to get our breathing back to normal, both annoyed and amused. I adjust my shirt and hair to go answer the door.

"Kippen!" Marty exclaims when I open it, he steps inside without me gesturing to. "Nice place you have here. Of course it will still need some cleaning up before the party."

I look around him and spot Andi, Jonah, Buffy and Jason all carrying an assort of boxes and one large Kegger. "What party... Oh. Son of a b-"

"Language Teej." Cyrus puts a finger on my slightly swollen lips. I pull it away and follow Marty through to my living room. The movie is still playing and all of the pillows are scattered on the floor like how kids would set it up if the floor was lava.

"Okay, we can work with this. It just might take some time to revamp up the uh... should I say, romantic vibe you guys truly had." He teases and everyone starts to get to work.

Andi takes any valuable or breakable decorations and stows them underneath the sink, spinning around and nearly bumping into Marty and Buffy who are setting the Kegger down out side on a table, coming back through to tripping over Jonahs streamers and Jason's jukebox. (Don't ask me how he got it, or got it here)  
Cyrus comes up behind me and I wrap my arm around his waist. "Are you sure we should still do this. Marty's parties can be a bit... Chaotic. I don't want anyone to get hurt, or too drunk. Or some drunk guy to flirt or hurt you." I say to him.

Cyrus smiles, "It will be fine TJ, and besides, after the last party I'm pretty sure you won't let me out of your sight."

"No, I was going to give you maybe five minutes of leisure time without your hand firmly in mine." I reply back, reaching for his palm and lacing it together.

"Hey love birds, you think you could actually help instead of having eye sex right in front of me?" Andi calls, trying to push the jukebox into a corner.

"No." Me and Cyrus both call out, and continue to stare at each others eyes, I lean down to kiss him as Andi wacks me on the head with a record.

"Come on idiots, try and do something other than each other for once." And she hits me on the side again.

✭

Its a lot of dancing and swaying, drinking and passing cups around of different made concoctions, a lot of love and kissing and people leering on each other singing along to songs way out of their drunk vocal range.  
And it feels like everything is coming to a close; the year, the problems and relationships. Everything feels settled and familiar.

But there will always still be Amber, who crashed the party late with a few of her works friends that invited me over to drink with them (I didn't actually, I drink a lot less than people think)  
Of course they tried to flirt with me, and of course I stood there for two seconds not knowing what to say before Cyrus appears out of nowhere and greets me with, "Hey, Sweetheart," and kisses my cheek before asking, "who are these guys?"

And of course me replying with, "Oh nobody special, Baby." As they huff and strut away.

And Cyrus drinking what I want to say responsibly, but he's definitely a little drunk and now he and Andi braiding my hair because 'Its so fluff, and warm!'. After my hair has be sufficiently knotted up (that will be fun to try and take apart tomorrow) Cyrus is leering on me (see I told you there would be a lot of that)

But he's cute and I'm taking care of him enough to get him to stop drinking and rest instead of letting him run wild (and possibly collapse. Or throw up. Or both)

"Hey TJ did you know your eyes are green." Cyrus says to me and pokes me in the eye.

I pull his hand away, trying to suppress laughter. "yeah I did Cyrus. But your eyes are more beautiful."

He shakes his head so frantically he's blurry. "Nuh-uh, Nuh-uh. You have the prettiest eyes." And then he kisses my neck and stands up to go dancing with Buffy, just like that.

The people that aren't as close to us leave but the rest of us dance late into the night. Cyrus becomes slightly more sober so that he doesn't keep pointing out my eyes and we all end up outside. Its starting to snow but we're all warm from each others body heat and alcohol.  
After a humiliating game of truth or dare (you really don't want to know) Jason passes around cigarettes to people, I don't take one but all of the Basketball crew plus Andi and Marty do. We start sharing stories of when we were kids or each others embarrassing fails.

"Yeah the day that you guys met Cyrus would not. Stop. Calling us about it. My Dad threatened to cut the phone line cause he kept it on hold for three hours." Andi giggles with Jason's arm wrapped around her.

"I think that's enough Ms Mack." Cyrus calls out and everyone laughs.

Its kind of hard not to notice everyone else who is together being touchy and feely. Its fine for me and Cyrus to kiss in-front of his friends but I don't know where I lie with my own. I know that we can joke about it (see above) but I don't know anything else.

That is until Patrick says, "It sucks what you and Goodman had to go through this year. Reed was a total douche and we let him do whatever the hell he wanted to hurt you guys. Which sucked, hard. Man, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was just about ready to grab the jacket and run." He gestures lazily to the rest of the team. Not all of them are here, which hurts, but also shows who really did have good morals.

"Well now that I'm captain, I hereby ban any abuse or insults that will attack Mr Kippen or Goodman. They are untouchable. And if anyone breaks that rule I kick your butt of this team faster than any of you could run. Which isn't that fast anyway, jeeze TJ, these guys need some serious training."

"Yes Ma'am." Marty replies and we fall into a fit of laughter again.

Cyrus reaches out for my hand and I take it gratefully. "Okay?" he asks and squeezes my palm. I nod.

We're untouchable.

✭

"Teej." Cyrus pokes my bare chest.

The party died down pretty quickly after our outside conversations. People who could drive home did, Jonah and Walker (who showed up maybe half way through the night) are crashed on the couch, Jason took Andi home but Buffy is staying in Amber's room, with Marty who just passed out on the floor in the hallway. The other guys are pretty much everywhere else (I think ones in the bathtub). Cyrus and I got the room to ourselves.

I roll over to face him, his face is tired but bright and shining in the moonlight. It can't be later (earlier?) than three in the morning. Considering we fell asleep after many kisses in the bed around two, Cyrus is looking fine for running on one hour of sleep. (He always looks beautiful, but you try and form full sentences after staying up several hours after your usual bed time and drinking alcohol)

"Yeah, Underdog?" I say sleepily. 

"Want to go somewhere?" He smiles and rolls out of the bed, putting his day clothes back on.

"Sure, so many places are open at this time, Love." I say but also start to get dressed.

"Just come on." He pulls my hand once we're fully clothed and we sneak out of the house, and suddenly we're running down the streets in the dark of the night.

✭

"That one is Cassiopeia." He points out, his hand raised at the bright stars. I nod along. It's too cold to be swinging separated by the swings. So instead we're laying on the cool dewy grass, paralleled.

"How do you remember all of these, Baby?" I ask him, sort of breathless and amazed.

"I don't know. I just do." Cyrus replies, shrugging and lets his hand fall. I grab it out of the air and lace it with mine on my chest.

"Hey," I say and Cyrus turns his head, "I love you. I don't think I've said that enough. I love you."

"I love you too." Cyrus replies. Our hair is wet and our jackets will be grass stained, and we should be heading back. But when I reach over, Cyrus doesn't stop me.

"I love you." I say again. He holds my face in his palms and kisses my lips gently. And technically he missed a star.

Him.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it ladies, gentlemen and gender non conformists   
> Also this is just a really short drabbel to wrap it all up, hope you enjoy <3

It isn't dark anymore; we left the movie house. And instead of everything around me being fazed out or blurry, I'm grounded. Because of Jonah walking in front of us spinning around like the guys do in the movie. Or the fact that other groups of kids from school wave at us as we go by.

But most importantly its because of Cyrus, who has taken my arm and wrapped it around his shoulders. (his are too short to be able to do it himself) Anyone passing wouldn't assume anything too strong, and by chance they did, I have about ten guys that would beat the crap out of them. Or have a "Nice talking to."

Its lovely. I don't get many chances to use that word.

And non of them can read my lips as I mouth, "I love you." To him. Nobody can see the "So damn much." Cyrus says back. 

Marty starts to ramble on about the fight sequences and Patrick and him start to reenact it. Despite Buffy's warnings about tripping over or landing on the road.  
"You're just worried that I'll hurt your boyfriend." Patrick smiles.  
"So what if I am? If you hurt him then these guys will have to clean up all your blood off the sidewalk after I'm done with you, nobody has time for that." Buffy replies back.  
"I still think it would have been easier if they actually started running the second they saw the thing, not stare at it until it kills one of you. And even then they still didn't run!" Cyrus says, possibly to change the subject.

Jason lets out a perfect long whistle, "the movie master is at it again. I swear how did Kippen even find you if your inside with movie trivia all day, Cy-guy?"

Cyrus shrugs, "I get around, it isn't that hard to find you type of boys anyway; you're always moping around somewhere, either about your love life or some sports game."

Andi laughs, "He's not wrong J." She pokes his pink cheeks.

"If someone knows how to get Jason to shut up..." Patrick says quietly and slyly fist bumps Cyrus.

We keep walking until we spot The Spoon a block away. Cyrus's hand slides into mine securely and I soften up the touch. Nobody around here cares anymore. They know our group hangs around here, the tough basketball kids, TJ Kippen and his boyfriend.

I hang back a second to wave at the car of girls driving by, they smile and their hair flashes in the wind, but its kind and not at all flirting. "Always a ladies man." Cyrus mutters still. I can feel his eyes rolling behind me. 

I grin and squeeze his hand. "You know I'm your man, Baby."

My boyfriend tries to hide his smile, failing miserably. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, the others are going to take the good tables." And he drags me along, trying to reach the others who are nearly at the door.

"Hey, look." I point out at them. Andi laughing with my teammates, her arms around Jason. Walker showing his art to Marty, Amber greeting all of them with a hug, despite the coffee pot in her hands, and they all take it gratefully (the hug that is) "Do you see what I see?" I look to him, at Cyrus with his impossible doe eyes and warm hands and soft hair. His smart brain and his big, golden heart. 

"What do you see?" He asks me softly.

I know its daytime and by some sort of thing with the sunlight you can't see the real ones but,

I kiss him on the lips, quickly and softly, and it alights me. "I see stars."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank anyone who read this, it really does mean a lot to me. I do have another Tyrus story planned, it just might take a little while to draft the story line and stuff.   
> Once again, thank you Sunflowers.   
> See you soon <3

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings and Salutations, after nearly finishing this story on Wattpad (I Know you shouldn't really talk about other book sites, but anyway) I thought I should share it and also branch out a little.   
> This should be fun, more soon <3


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